Fellas, I know how you feel. This girl is the best girl you’ve ever met. She’s smart, has a great sense of humor and you can just walk right in her home without even having to check-in before you do.
You take her to see the movies, to a restaurant, to the park, to the museum. You guys can talk and walk for hours just living in your own world never caring about time and other people. You guys live in your own bubble making inside jokes and calling each other nicknames. You surprise her with gifts just because. You walk her home and almost always, you ask how her day went. You may even tell her that you like her.
Everyone thinks that you guys are together, but you could never really tell them for sure because you yourself don’t know what you guys are. To you, she may really just be a friend, a best friend and nothing more, but that’s how you lose her.
You lose her when you take her to the movies. You lose her when you take her to a restaurant. You lose her when you take her to the park. You lose her when you show up with gifts in your hand just because. You lose her when you continue to treat her like a princess when you only think of her as a sidekick. Someone you could have a safe environment to show your true self without the expectations and risks of commitment. That’s how you lose her. That’s how you lose yourself.
She’s become part of you without you even noticing. She’s become part of who you are without warning. She’s become you and you’ve become her. To lose her is to lose your soul and when you finally realize that, it might be too late.
She will tell you that she never cared, that you never cared. She will tell you that you changed. She will tell you that you only wanted to be with her because you felt alone, but when you’re finally alright, you leave her. She will tell you that you only wanted her to fill the empty space you had in your heart for the time being while looked for a permanent replacement. She will blame you and she will always blame you. When that time and if that time comes, don’t get mad. She’s right. She’s always been right.
So the next time you take her to the movies, give her your jacket with the intent to keep the fire in her burning forever.
The next time you walk her home, hold her hand with the intent of keeping her in your heart until it no longer beats and finally, the next time you surprise her with gifts, give each of them with the intent of giving your whole self to her, your whole commitment to her because you’ll never be the same without her.
Never go a day without calling her beautiful even when she’s pissed or when she just woke up with slob and morning breath because in the end, even that isn’t enough times to do so.