This Is Why You Should Break All Traditional Wedding Rules And Make It Your Own

Mitchell Orr

So you’re getting married? Congrats! This is the most exciting time and you should enjoy every minute. When it comes to weddings people love to give advice and when they do they like to throw in the word “should.” My fiancé and I decided not to play by the rulebook from the get go and planned a wedding that reflected us as a couple.

Before I get into all the fun and exciting ways you and your fiancé can break the wedding rules, let me state this one fact:

The purpose of a wedding, whether you are spending $5,000 or $60,000, is to get married. No matter how the party turns out, if the two of you are married by the end of the day, then your wedding was perfect. Do not let the wedding industry convince you of anything else.

Here are some ways we have broken the “should’s” of wedding planning and here’s how you can too:

Set your own budget

No matter what you spend on your wedding, the outcome is the same: The two of you will be married and all the guests will go home and continue on with their lives. My fiancé and I set our own realistic budget for our wedding after visiting a few local wedding venues.

Invitations don’t have to cost thousands

When you get a wedding invitation do you treasure that invitation and keep it forever? I am going to guess that once the wedding has ended that costly invitation is going straight into the trash. My fiancé and I felt very strongly about skipping the fancy invitations and decided to go green and use Greenvelope. The user-friendly site is amazing and will allow you to track all of your RSVP’s and their designs are perfection. This is saving us a ton of money that we can use toward the wedding reception.

Your wedding does not have to be an all night party

Our favorite food is brunch food and by 9:30PM we are already home and cuddled in bed so doing an all-nighter with an open bar just would not reflect us as a couple. We decided to do a Sunday brunch instead. Fun fact about Sunday weddings is they are much less expensive than the typical Saturday wedding and you can often get discounts from your vendors too since they don’t usually book up for Sundays.


Here is the one time I failed myself and got caught up in what a bride “should do.” I was set on doing my own makeup and hair. I mean I spend at least three hours a week watching beauty tutorials on YouTube so I know my way around a Beauty Blender and a curling iron. Many people began to tell me how absolutely awful all of my photos would look if I did not use a makeup artist so I decided to do a trial. I sat in a chair for 3 hours and by the time she was done I looked like a contestant on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and my fiancé could barely recognize me. I decided to stop the madness and go with my initial desire of being my own makeup artist.

For centerpieces you can come up with so many fun and inexpensive ideas that you can create without the help of a florist. You can gather your bridesmaids and mother in laws and have a fun DIY party. This is a great bonding experience and creates a beautiful memory for everyone involved.

You don’t have to have a traditional bridal party

I skipped the traditional “bridal uniforms” and let my bridesmaids choose a dress they loved in the color I chose. Each dress is different and really reflects the bridesmaid’s personality. I love that they love their dress and didn’t have to break the bank to be in our wedding since the average bridesmaid spends $1,695 to be in a wedding.

Rethink the music you are using

If you and your fiancé frequently listen to Frank Sinatra and classical music then by all means go ahead and use that for your special day; however, my fiancé and I do not so it was very important to us to pick a DJ that would understand us as a couple and allow us to create our own Wedding music. Music is so important and really sets the tone of your wedding so ignore the traditional wedding playlist and go with what you and your fiancé like to listen to while incorporating different genres for the wedding guests to enjoy as well.

No you don’t have to spend thousands on flowers

Most wedding florists have a minimum, pick one that does not. We found our florist through our venue and fell in love with her instantly. We started with our budget and created a custom order based on that. We also picked an already gorgeous venue that didn’t need an abundance of floral arrangements. I will say this, with nine bridesmaids I had to get creative and the florist was excited to get creative with me. We decided to go with lots of greenery and some white roses for a fresh and organic look rather than the typical wedding flowers that would have cost us thousands.

Do-nut tell me you don’t like donuts!

Wedding cake is not notorious for being delicious so we decided to pick a dessert we both love, such as donuts! Yes wedding cakes are beautiful but donuts are just so much yummier, think outside the box when it comes to wedding desserts and pick a dessert you both actually want to eat.

No need to rehearse since your wedding is not a play

We both absolutely hated the idea of having a rehearsal. The venue we chose has three coordinators and they came up with a plan to get the bridal party in order the day of without rehearsing. Who cares if someone walks at the wrong time? It’s not supposed to be perfect, it’s supposed to be natural and fun. So we decided to have a pizza party instead and skip the stuffy rehearsal!

Whatever you and your fiancé decide to do for your special day just make sure it’s your decision and try not to get caught up in all of the “should’s” of wedding planning. It’s not about how little or how much you spend it’s about creating a day that you both love whether that strays from tradition or not. Remember this is a fun and happy time in your life, so play by your own rules and don’t let it become stressful and most of all do not let it become bigger than you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A lover of great books, good food and any wine. You can read more of her writing on her blog.

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