I have always been a public person. Being a writer forces me to expose parts of my life and relationships. I don’t mind it, as I am also an incredibly open person and I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. For instance, when I was a young girl I would journal religiously but then leave it out “by accident” for my parents to read if I was feeling particularly angsty. I’m the type of person who if you are friends with, you know every emotion I experience 24 hours a day.
I may share details of my daily life 364 days of the year, but there is 1 day I choose to keep private when I am in a relationship and that day is Valentine’s Day. You may ask why I do this and I will tell you that it’s completely selfless. Besides the fact that not posting on social media would be the greatest Valentine’s Day gift for my boyfriend, I keep this day private in order to consider the singles who may be feeling alone on this highly commercialized and unnecessary day, like I once felt.
Before I met “my person,” aka my Mr. Big, I was single for 7 years. I was by no means living the “nun life,” as my friend likes to call it, but I was not in a committed relationship by any means. I kissed many frogs before I found my prince, and truthfully I enjoyed my seven years of singleness, but there was one day out of the whole year that made me reevaluate my contentment with being single and that day was Valentine’s Day. Ridiculous as it may seem, the sight of a plush pink bear clutching a red heart with the words “I love you” imprinted on it among 100 other red and pink stuffed animals would cause me to rethink my single girl happiness. Valentine’s Day was the one day that I felt not only alone, but also lonely. My Facebook was suddenly flooded with pictures of cards, roses, and overpriced jewelry that my friends had gotten as Valentine’s Day gifts and don’t be mistaken, I was incredibly happy for them but with every scroll down, I felt more and more sadness.
This Valentine’s Day you may find yourself in a wonderful relationship, and if that is the case, congratulations to you but don’t forget how you felt when you were single last Valentine’s Day. Don’t inflict the same feelings on your single friends by flaunting your roses and heart shaped chocolates to the social media world.
Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t easy, so don’t make it any harder on the people who were there for you on this day during your single years. By all means, have a romantic day with your significant other, buy the overpriced roses, the God awful Russell Stover chocolates, and make those reservations at your favorite restaurant with the special menu. Just do it in private without posting it all over social media.
If you are in a relationship on Valentine’s Day here are some tips to make your single girlfriends feel extra special while you enjoy the day with your significant other.
1. Send them flowers.
One of my girlfriend’s says that she looks forward to Valentine’s Day every year because her father sends her a bouquet of flowers. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you were feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day and all of a sudden bright and beautiful flowers showed up with a sweet note attached? If finances dissuade you from doing this, pick a flower and leave it outside their door, it’s the thought that counts not the quality of the flowers.
2. Give them a Valentine’s Day card.
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, not necessarily love between couples. Give them a card and tell them how much you love them. Make them feel adored and appreciated.
3. Be the Leslie Knope of your squad and host a Gal-entines Day Dinner the week of Valentine’s Day.
As if you needed another excuse to get cocktails and half priced sushi. Gather the squad and get together for a ladies only happy hour at your favorite trendy spot. If you prefer to entertain at your home, have the ladies over for wine and cheese.
4. Find them a Valentine.
I’m a natural born meddler. My boyfriend yells at me for it, but I just can’t help playing Cupid. I think the world of my friends and it puzzles me why any of them are single to begin with. If you are like me, why not play matchmaker this Valentine ’s Day and set your friends, the ones who are willing of course, up on blind dates with matches you feel are a good fit.
5. Text them.
If you do nothing else this Valentine’s Day, at least text them in the morning and tell them how amazing and loved they are. Tell them that you feel lucky to have them in your life and that on this Valentine’s Day, although you may be celebrating with your significant other, they too are your Valentine and you love and appreciate them.
When you enter into a relationship your significant other slowly transitions into your best friend. They become the person you share your life with first. You go from full-time squad member to part-time squad member. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the comfort and happiness of their company that you forget about the countless single girl nights out you used to have with your girlfriends. When you are in a healthy and happy mature relationship, you do see less of your friends, so that is why you should make them feel extra special and loved when you do see them this Valentine’s Day.
My spirit animal, Carrie Bradshaw, said it best: “the fact is, sometimes it’s hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.”
Maybe you can’t buy your all of your single girlfriends’ $600 Manolo Blahnik shoes to make their walk a little easier, but you certainly don’t have to make them feel like they are walking alone. This Valentine’s Day try to stay off social media and make sure your single girlfriends feel as loved as your boy. After all, if things get serious and your Valentine becomes your husband one day, what’s a bride without her bridesmaids standing beside her?