1. You know that coffee milk is not coffee + milk. That’s a latte.
2. You didn’t necessarily go to Brown. You own a sweatshirt and you saw Emma Watson once. Does that count?
3. You can’t wait for the end of March when Del’s reopens for the season. Mr. Lemon? Yeah, he’s good too.
4. Alan Shawn Feinstein visited your elementary school once and gave you a rare coin. You were just happy because you finally met your first celebrity.
5. 401 is your area code and you are proud of it.
6. On Sundays your mom makes gravy. Gravy goes on pasta, not turkey.
7. Yes, Pauly D. is from Rhode Island, but so is Viola Davis. I don’t see anyone asking me about her!
8. You know that Olneyville New York System has the best hot weiners and you know it’s not in New York.
9. We’re just not that into Family Guy. Please do not describe your favorite episode to me. I do not care.
10. Are you wicked thirsty? Where is the nearest bubblah?
11. You love Awful Awfuls. Why doesn’t Newport Creamery just call them Awesome Awesome already.
12. You go to Cumbies whenever you run out of something. Chillzone anyone?
13. No, the river is not on fire. It’s just water fire night.
14. Summer is your favorite season. Or maybe fall? Okay, it’s definitely spring. No, it has to be winter.
15. You always eat chowdah with clam cakes. Chowdah is white, not red. New York, I’m looking at you.
16. Your summer isn’t complete without a lobster roll.
17. And Brickley’s.
18. Party!? I’ll go to Crugnale’s for the pizza strips.
19. You go to Twin Oaks. Not only because the food is good but you can’t resist the atmosphere. Those shrimp though!
20. When someone says Big Blue Bug you don’t freak out. Actually you get excited. You wait all year for him to darn his Rudolph nose for the holidays.
21. If your license plate has three numbers or less, you might as well be a celebrity. It’s a big deal.
22. Oh, and so is Mr. Potato head. He’s on our license plates too.
23. Potholes are a serious fear of yours. These are not just divots in the road, people. Falling into one would be like falling into an abyss.
24. Your home and your vacation home are 20 minutes away from each other. Rhode Islanders love Rhode Island so much, we never want to leave.
25. Your accent has people wondering if you are from Boston or New York every time you leave the state.
26. Wait I have to leave the state? An hour car ride is considered a road trip. We pack snacks and an overnight bag.
￼27. You need directions for that hour journey? Oh, just pass the old gas station, turn left where the movie theater used to be and it’s right next to the old bowling alley. Everyone gives directions based on “what used to be”.
28. God forbid you go out of the country. Just stick with “near New York”. No one knows where Rhode Island is. Long Island? No, Rhode Island!