An Open Letter To The People Who Compliment My Weight Loss

Losing weight — pain in the ass, right? And the abs, and your calves, and every part of your body if you find yourself exercising. You work hard, you eat well, and you deprive yourself of that cookie dough ice cream because 47 grams of carbs just isn’t worth it.

Sweating at the gym, as red as a tomato, you find yourself looking like a hot mess. Still, you persist. It’s all about the end result. You do well, you lose weight, you go shopping! Because there’s no better excuse to go shopping than not fitting into your clothes. You find a sundress at TJ Maxx and you can’t wait to wear it. Your confidence is unstoppable!

Of course you get compliments, who wouldn’t tell you how great you look? Hell, maybe you’ll even get a two piece bathing suit this summer. Last year you tried for the two piece, and sadly it didn’t go well. This time it’s different. There’s something about the way you carry yourself — it gives off this vibe. The “I know I’m rocking this” vibe that seems to be so hard to get. The compliments are great and most people mean well, until you get Those Comments. If you’ve lost a decent amount of weight, you know what I’m talking about.

“Wow, you look so great now!”

“Look at you! How much have you lost? You’re hotter than all your friends now!”

“I cant believe how pretty you look lately.”

“Keep it up and you’ll be hotter than me!”

Actual comments I’ve received. Can you believe that? Like, excuse me. I was pretty before I lost weight. What kind of compliment is that? I’m less fat, not more pretty.

“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”

Again, when did I say I was ugly? Oh that’s right, I didn’t!

Being fat doesn’t mean you’re ugly. Why do you assume the two are synonymous? When I say I’m fat, it’s a fact. I’m not degrading myself. If a person said, “I’m so thin,” would your go-to response be, “No, you’re beautiful!” And why is that? Because thin is associated with being pretty, and that’s a load of BS. Thank you, next.

It’s more than body positivity, weight loss, weight gain, and self acceptance. Why are all of our compliments based on our bodies and appearances? As women, we are subject to enough scrutiny. It’s everywhere — the media, magazines, every single store you go into, every Insta Famous Influencer that looks absolutely flawless. We are more than our bodies, our hair, our makeup, our boobs. We are our compassion, humor, admiration, strength, courage, and determination. We are not what we are catcalled for or how gorgeous our legs are. Our eyes may be beautiful, but they’ve seen pain. Our hips look great in sundresses, but they tire with a baby on them. These thighs look sexy in boots that come up to our knees, but these knees have seen the dirt too many times. Don’t compliment me on my body. Compliment my resiliency or literally anything else. Even compliment the spiralizer I got to cut my zucchini, but please, stop making comments on our bodies.

It’s 2019. We’re all pretty. Just because I outweigh you by 30 pounds doesn’t make me less of a person. I weigh less, I’m not worth less, and neither are you.