Why Loving Yourself Is The Most Important Part Of A Break Up

Pete Bellis

We’ve all been there, we’ve all had a bad break up. Sometimes it’s exactly what you see on TV — you cry into a pint of ice cream and watch The Notebook. Other times, nothing could prepare you for what you’re about to experience.

No matter what you expect or what happens, the best thing that will ever come out of a break up is loving yourself. If you loved yourself before getting dumped, that is great! Continue to love yourself, you deserve it. If you feel like you’ve lost yourself, then you need to fall in love again. You need to fall in love with yourself.

Some people think loving yourself is wearing a shirt that isn’t flattering, or posting a bikini pic on Instagram even though you’re a size 18. Self love will come in a million different forms, just like love and loss will. Should you wear that shirt, even though it shows your muffin top? Of course, do what makes you happy. If you just got you heart-broken, you might need a little more than a selfie to fall in love again.

Look in the mirror. With makeup, without makeup. Before a shower, after a shower. Look in the mirror and think about the person you see. Who are you? Who were you before, during, and after the break up? Were you happy before, and now you feel sad? That’s normal. Look in the mirror again. You’re more than a failed relationship.

You are your own person, you’ll never be defined as the half of someone else. You don’t need to meet your other half, you’re already whole.

Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at those awful selfies you took, because you know you took 83 before you got a good one. Laugh so hard you spit your coffee out. Laugh hard because you stuttered when you were trying to flirt with your waiter. Laugh at the RomCom, even though you’ve seen it a million times, because let’s face it, Sandra Bullock dancing to “Get Low” will never not be funny.

Cry. Crying is underrated. Why are we so ashamed to cry? Waterproof mascara is a thing girls, it’s okay to cry. If you’ve had a long day and nothing else could possibly go wrong, cry as much as you want. You earned it. If you miss him, cry. You aren’t crazy, you’re human. Cry because you drop your ice cream, cry because you have to wait another ten years to find out what’s going on with Rory Gilmore. There is not a wrong way to be upset, you can’t cry too much or be too confused.

Find yourself. What makes you happy? Are you thinking of your ex? Chances are, you’ve experienced happiness before them. You will definitely experience happiness without them. It comes in all forms. Stop on the side of the road to pick a sunflower. Listen to the toddler giggling with his baby sister. Read your favorite book again. Turn your phone off for a few days, you’ll survive without snapchat. Does it make you sad to be alone? Invite your sister over. Find an online blog that you relate to. Does it hurt to be around happy people? Take a break. Get some space, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

Breathe, please breathe. You might feel like the world is ending, but it is not. The sun will come up in the morning. You will fall asleep, even if you think you can’t. You will feel “normal” again, even if you feel alone. If you feel like you’ve lost love, hold on honey, because you’re about to fall in love all over again with the most important person. Yourself. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog