Healthy, natural dating can feel effortless. It may bring up feelings of vulnerability but ideally, both people involved are on the same page when it comes to showing up and making an effort.
Below are signs to look out for…
1. The Narcissist
Narcissistic abuse starts extremely subtle but when it blows up, it’s can be a nightmare you didn’t see coming… Some ways to spot a narcissist include 1) An over-exaggerated sense of self-importance 2) An inclination to lie. It may start small to see what they can get away with it and the lies get bigger as time passes. If you call them out, they deny reality which can be infuriating and often makes you second guess yourself. 3) they have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others. 4) They have trouble with criticism and get easily impatient and belittle others, making themselves appear superior. These are only a few… If you believe you are in a conversation with someone like this, you may want to investigate further signs of narcissistic personalities.
2. Avoids Meeting You in Real Life
If they aren’t jumping up and down to meet you right away, or at least taking action and responsive to the notion, they are probably doing a lot of mindless scrolling and may not be earnestly searching. It may also mean they aren’t really interested, and that’s okay! Catch the next person who is!
3. Netflix and Chill on The First Date?
This is a clear indication that they are looking for a hookup. This doesn’t mean they are an awful person; they just aren’t looking for anything serious. If that’s what you need at that moment too, go for it, but don’t have any expectations of this person.
4. Canceling Last-Minute
Things happen… sometimes we have to cancel plans. More often than not, the last-minute flake is someone who is habitually inconsiderate to other people. Your time and energy deserve respect. Whether this person is conscious or unconscious that their canceling at the last minute is problematic, it’s not okay. Wait for the person who doesn’t let anything get in the way of seeing you!
5. Blank Profiles
If you come across a profile with zero information or a one-liner, don’t waste your time. Blank profiles often suggest this person is not looking for something serious and didn’t bother to make an effort. Do you want this person planning your dates? Your anniversaries? Important life events? Your Birthday? Blank profiles may indicate the person may be confused about what they want. If you are looking for a serious committed relationship, it might be best to move on.
6. Hides their Social Media
Use your best judgment. If you want to see his or her social media ask and observe the response. If someone isn’t sharing their social media, they may have a significant other. Unfortunately, this is all too common in the online dating world.
7. Rushes into a relationship too quickly
Getting too eager, too quickly in a relationship is an online dating red flag. If you feel like the person is racing into at the speed of light, they may not be coming from an authentic or grounded place. This could be the person who is desperate to settle down with the first person who will take them or a way to get over an ex. While there can be an inner knowing when you’ve met someone special, it doesn’t mean moving fast into commitment.
8. Impulsive Sexting
If their opening line is an inappropriate picture or a request for one, don’t waste your time. All of which is fine if you just want casual fun, but if you are looking for a relationship this isn’t it. If someone is asking a stranger for explicit photos that is a huge red flag. Sexting can be a fun way to spice it up when you are in a more exclusive relationship with someone. Save it for someone who’s earned it!
9. Discussing Sex Before Meeting
This is awfully presumptuous and a problematic by-product of the modern-day hookup culture which is becoming more commonplace. At best it’s a sign of a lack of emotional maturity and is certainly a red flag.
10. The Ex-Factor
If they talk about their ex on the first few dates, especially the first, most likely they are not over their ex. They may not want to be with that person any longer, but the chord hasn’t been cut. There are still emotions to process and it can be painful for you if get involved with someone who is not over their ex.
11. The Houdini
When someone you have been dating goes M.I.A it feels like crap… but eventually, you’ll forget about them if it happens early enough. However, if they are disappearing and reappearing for differing and extended amounts of time this isn’t a healthy sign. Of course, there are exceptions and people go through major life crises that may cause them to pull away from dating altogether for a time. Use your best judgment.
If you can barely see their face because the picture is too small, blurry, or overpowered by sunglasses this is a sign that they may not be truthful about their identity or are hiding something.
13. Too Mysterious
This online dating red flag is a big one. When someone reveals little about themselves while encouraging you to reveal your inner world, they may be gathering information based on strange intentions. The process of getting to know someone should never be one-sided. Some people are guarded and share information slowly, but if they have a fortress up, little information in their bio, and aren’t willing to share information that’s an online dating red flag.
Relationships always involve negotiations. Even in the earliest stages. If someone is giving you a demanding list of what they want or expect, that could indicate more dangerous forms of control in the future. Refusing to acknowledge your needs during the initial dating process is an indication that they aren’t looking for a relationship, but rather someone to control.
Follow Your Gut
When it comes to online dating read the flags trust your gut. If a situation feels sketchy, it probably is. If you aren’t sure if you are being intuitive or paranoid, request to meet at a certain place or take whatever other measures you need to in order to feel safe. Our gut is a brain of its own and the chemicals that allow our brains in our head process certain emotions and feel things are actually created in our gut before they are sent to our brain. So, trust it!