The 21 People Who Do Not Like Mellow Pages
1) Kanye West
“The owners aren’t fresh.”
2) Jonathan Franzen
“What is all the fuss about?”
3) Julian Casablancas
“Why isn’t this in Manhattan?”
4) Condoleeza Rice
“This is not academic.”
5) Ryan Gosling
“Who gives a shit.”
6) Michael Phelps
“What the fuck would I have to say about this?”
7) Tao Lin
“Seems bad.”
8) VICE Magazine
“Lame.”
9) Colleges
“I am aware that it is not politically correct to say this but, this is gay.”
10) Mugsy Bogues
“I couldn’t reach the only book I wanted.”
11) Tom Selleck
“I hate everything.”
12) Whoopi Goldberg
“They wouldn’t let me smoke.”
13) Kel from Kenan and Kel
“My life has literally crumbled before my eyes.”
14) Saul Goodman
“Better call Saul.”
15) Chelsea Clinton
“Even I’M bored here.”
16) Ned Flanders
“Where’s the Bible-y-diddily-dos?”
17) Paul Rudd
“This might sound like the meanest thing I’ve ever said but, this place is NICE.”
18) Morrissey
“On the subject of Mellow Pages Library I am tempted to first explore the nature of…”
19) Buffy
“I hate when Giles takes me places.”
20) Carlton
“Me and Geoffrey hated this.”
21) Shel Silverstein
“These motherfuckers.”