To You

To you, I’ll act coy, shy, mysterious; I’ll be a captivating flower that has not yet bloomed, full of promise, a captivating tease at what could be yours, what you’ve wanted for so long.

To you, I’ll open. I’ll crack like a piece of firewood, ready to be set ablaze. I’ll share the most intimate details of my deepest, innermost self with you, the same way we share Thai food and our bodies. You will learn my secrets, my fears, my lifelong dreams, the things that make my heart race, how your cologne drives my mind into a frenzy.

To you, I’ll be beautiful. You’ll become a carefree child again, alive with smiles and laughs when you’re with me, and I will do the same for you. You’ll look at me with passion, courage, respect, reverence, with love. I’ll come to be a new being to you, the object of your heart’s affection, a cheesy shining beacon coming closer with every backstroke through the ocean.

To you, I’ll be revealed. I promise I’ll become the singular beauty in the eye of you, the beholder. My body will become a playground for your endlessly curious hands, a canvas for every fantasy, every suppressed urge you wish to paint upon me. You will be uncharted land that I must explore; you are an ocean of passionate turbulence, a lake of serene sensuality. Your every touch is an uproarious revelry, my every kiss an uninhibited display of fireworks.

To you, I will give my world. It will all become yours, in its entirety. You can have the vibrant, lush springtime grass: we can stroll in it together in our moments of intimacy, as you grasp my hand in yours, as my eyes close when I lean over to kiss your cheek. You can have the tempestuous storms that come when you anger, and when I yell; you can have the subsequent rainbow, as well, that accompanies the passing of the storm, when you try to win me over with your silly dances and goofy grin. And when I look at your dirty blonde hair as you compliment the color of my dark brown eyes, I can’t help but smile; you catch this moment of weakness, laugh, grab me and force a kiss on my lips, and the sun comes out again. You can have the sun, too, in all of its brilliant, glorious intensity.

To you, I will play my song. I will be the quiet strings, the emotional woodwinds, the explosive brass. You are the strict percussion, the iron-fisted snare, the strong timpani, the backbone of the orchestra. I will lay beside you on your couch, or sit next to you at our favorite restaurant, looking at you with the deepest adoration; you will wrap your arm around me as I put my head on your strong chest, and I will hear your thunderous, pounding heartbeat beginning to slow.

To you, the color will begin to fade out of our beautiful blue sky. It will all become a mere silhouette of what it once was. The flower that had opened up to your sunlight, that had thrived so beautifully, will begin to wilt. The highs will not be as high, the lows will deepen until they are merely dried up rivers, missing the cool and powerful waters that used to run so rambunctiously. Your touch will start to lose the fiery spark it once had as it held me down, as it ran through my hair, as it reassured me that everything would be okay in time.

To you, I will beg and plead. You will look down upon me, a tear in your eye, your voice breaking, as you look down at me on me knees, once so resolute, once so in love, so happy. I will regretfully give the space you have started to crave. It’s yours now. Everything can still be yours: my world, my body, my vibrancy. But you won’t take it from me any longer.

To you, I send a gaze when I see you from a distance at the grocery store, when I remember how your green eyes used to gaze upon me, too, with something more than indifference and dispassion.

To you, I will attribute my new strength, my sharpened ability to live and move on, my rediscovered happiness. I will become the bloom I once was.

To you, I wish the best. I wish you all of the love in the world, from whoever is lucky enough to give it to you.

To you, I say goodbye. TC mark

image – Geese

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=652483884 Jennie Tran

    Your writing here, is so so so lovely.

  • Megan

    I love you

  • Keck

    thanks for making me cry at work. 

  • Tanya

    I love this. So sad, happy, and painstakingly real. <3

  • Anonymous

    What the fuck is this?  A high school prose writing assignment?  Boo.

    • Asdf

      Who the fuck is this? A high school insult writer? Boo.

    • Jacob Ortega

      thanks for your well-articulated opinion. can’t please everyone!

      • Anonymous

        All right, then allow me to articulate more intellectually if that’s what you want.  This writing’s imagery is abstracted where it should be concrete.  You approach concepts like “happiness,” “passion,” “respect,” and “love” at a surface level without really saying anything unique or controversial about them.  On top of that, it’s riddled with cliches–comparisons to flowers, oceans, orchestras, fire, the sky… we’ve heard it before.  If you aren’t going to write about it in a new way, then don’t write about it.  There must have been something “different” about your relationship, but it sure doesn’t come across that way in this passage.

        You’re entitled to express yourself, but this material is better suited for your own personal journal, so that you can look back on it one day and think, “What the fuck was I thinking.  At least I didn’t show this to anyone.”  Finally, you have to be careful about writing when you’re feeling sentimental.  It’s almost always going to come across as sappy, regurgitated pandering.  It’s really nice of you to say all these nice things about your ex-girlfriend, but there must be some things you really hate about her.  Write about those.  It would be more interesting. 

      • Jacob Ortega

        I appreciate your feedback.

      • indi

        agreed, most of this is too cliche.  i would have liked to see you explore some analogies that i haven’t already heard a million and one times.  i think that you could rework the concept of this piece and make it much more intriguing, more visceral.  it’s a good start but I’d like to see something deeper and more raw in there somewhere – even if it’s just peeking out from around the edges of sentimentality…i would like to get a glimpse of the places where the nostalgia has worn thin.  they’ve got to be in there somewhere.

      • EP

        You pleased me. This was better than most of the other stuff on the site. Thanks for writing this, I enjoyed reading it. Yay!

  • http://www.superbunneh.com Zana Fauzi

    I just printed this entire thing and crumpled the paper and ate it whole.

    • http://www.facebook.com/reeves.tash Natasha Reeves

      I am not sure if that is because you wanted to devour it because it meant something to you, or  that you wished it didn’t exist. I am hoping for the former. But who am I to judge?

  • Bridget

    I wanted a happy ending….

  • Mayra Ruiz

    “You will learn my secrets, my fears, my lifelong dreams, the things that make my heart race, how your cologne drives my mind into a frenzy.”  I will print this and cry ,  genius.

  • Anonymous

    To the editors, I say “wtf??”

  • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

    Better than almost everything I’ve read on this site so far. Although I can see the point that h8er is making, I still think this was looooovely.

  • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

    Better than almost everything I’ve read on this site so far. Although I can see the point that h8er is making, I still think this was looooovely.

  • peach

    Beautiful. 

  • Guest

    This cut deep.

  • Shelly J

    My boyfriend broke up with me/is “trying to figure out what he wants” last night and I’ve been in tears all day. I want to print this and hand it to him. It’s hard to describe how much I care for him and at the same time I know I need to say goodbye; I can’t be stuck in limbo.

    Thank you.

  • Shelly J

    My boyfriend broke up with me/is “trying to figure out what he wants” last night and I’ve been in tears all day. I want to print this and hand it to him. It’s hard to describe how much I care for him and at the same time I know I need to say goodbye; I can’t be stuck in limbo.

    Thank you.

  • Aelya

    I liked this, but at the same time felt like parts of it were forced. Like you were trying really hard to look for a really poetic way to say something.

    Here’s some con-crit. One of the best rules of writing is minimalism. If something can be conveyed with less words/a shorter sentence, do that. Many things are best conveyed not with excessive words, but because of their absence. Faulkner got his panties in a bunch because he accused Hemingway of never using a word that once sent a reader to a dictionary, and Hemingway retorted by saying that big emotions don’t need big words. 

    You have beautiful thoughts. I hope what I said helped.

  • flinders

    ……….so the narrator is a female? 

  • Beans

    You will make someone really happy one day. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their lover.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    Funny how you always have someone in mind when reading something like this.

    Beautiful piece that I think a lot of people can relate to.

  • http://imlikecocaine.wordpress.com/ Ana

    painfully real. I loved it, keep writing.

  • Guest

    Perfection. 

  • Guest

    Beautiful.

  • Guest

    Beautiful.

  • douchegirl

    Blah.

     I just want to copy and paste this on my Tumblr where my “you” can see it, possibly realize how he felt all along about me and come back. 

    • Anonymous

      be my guest! just credit me, of course ;)

  • anonymous

    wait, so are you gay

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