What Your Favorite Coffee Shop Says About Your Sex Life

treycwong
treycwong

Dunkin Donuts

You like it fast and somewhat dirty. You don’t have time for the absolute best experience, but you do expect whatever you’re getting to do the trick. You’re adventurous and not afraid to try out new things. Some even say your sex life is a slam dunk(in).

Local Coffee Shop

You are lazy AF and like whatever is close by and within arm’s reach. However, what’s amazing for you and annoying for everyone else is that the person you find ends up being a one-of-a-kind, unique, cute, little creation of wonder. You are lucky enough to have found that inspirational human who can get you going in just the right way.

Saxby’s

You know, you just want to make it through the day and maybe enjoy a little love-making along the way. However, like most times when you get your coffee, your sex life is a solo ride.

Krispy Kreme

You expect your partners to be just as good as they look. You appreciate every single part of lovemaking, from start to finish. And in general, it doesn’t take much to send you to the moon. As an aside, you have a list of sex icons whose initials, like your favorite coffee shop, are KK. They include: Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian.

McDonald’s

You want your sex to be simple, natural, and instantaneous with someone you trust. But usually, the only partner you can find is that one annoying person everyone knows. You are slightly depressed with your sexual libido, but when you do engage in sexual activity, you put in your all. Your coping mechanism for this situation is a classic repression move, and so you still call orgasming enjoying your “happy meal.”

Tim Horton’s

Hallo! Bonjour! Ciao! Hola! As with your favorite place to get coffee, you want your sex life to have a European twist, but still with that timeless North American charm. You love to physically explore your partner; however, you have a slight infatuation with the northern regions of their sexy bod. You love to love two times in a row, and your classic move is the “double-double.”

Starbucks

You overpay.

Caribou Coffee

They say “Life is short. Stay awake for it.” However, you are beginning to find that your sex life is short too. The problem is that you are way too picky. You know, you want someone who’s like a handsome strong buck, or a beautiful confident doe, but the only kind of people you end up finding yourself pleasuring are goatish looking humans. TC mark

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