1. How GREAT it feels after finding an amazing deal! Like, we are willing to dig through clearance bigs for hours to knock off a few extra bugs, and we’ll have a spring in our step because of it!
2. How empowered we feel wearing something new. Even if it isn’t a whole new outfit, we have an extra spring in our step while walking to class or the office!
3. The extent to which shopping can be the ultimate relaxer. Hard day at work? Stop by the mall. Just finished a crazy-hard midterm? Surf online stores. It works like straight magic.
4. The power we feel in memorizing every store’s return policy. We know exactly what H&M will take back, what TJ Maxx will accept, and exactly how long we have to decide on our stuff!
5. How therapeutic it is to fill up an online shopping cart and then just “x” out of the browser. Yeah, we didn’t buy anything, but it was cool pretending.
6. But how we usually end up buying stuff when doing this. THE DEALS WERE JUST TOO GOOD.
7. Just how many email accounts we are willing to create in order to get 15% off for signing up to to a digital newsletter.
8. And how much time we are willing to spend looking for discount codes online.
9. How we try to limit ourselves by not grabbing a cart when we enter a store…but we just end up with arms overflowing with merchandise.
10. And we could fill up a book with our excuses for not signing up for the in-store credit cards. It’s just too big of a slippery slope.
11. Searching tons of different stores for the exact same object. Surely, SURELY we will able to find this pair of shoes cheaper SOMEWHERE…
12. We always find great excuses to replace something / shop for a replacement. Oh, our shoe has a little mark on it, better hit up the store to see if there are any good deals before the whole thing completely falls apart!!
13. And there is somehow ALWAYS a reason for retail therapy. Work promotion? Shopping! First day of spring? Shopping! Cried at a sad episode of a TV show? Better go shopping.
14. Drunk texting? We go drunk shopping! Why waste a solid buzz overcoming your fear of talking to a boy when you can, instead, overcome your fear of spending too much $$$$
15. Develop jokey excuses for when you buy junk you don’t *really* need. Like, “It was SO GREAT it would basically have cost me more money NOT to buy it!”
16. Travel to new places basically just to see their malls. Why did I visit Chicago? To shop at Zara.
17. Getting irritated at people who hate shopping or never want to go shopping with us. Like, what is there to hate?? It’s all the world’s most wonderful possessions just a card swipe away!
18. Also, getting our Christmas shopping done months in advance because it’s just another reason to stop by the store!
19. Though, oftentimes, shopping for another person can easily become just shopping for you. Aunt Karen can wait, this shirt is just TOO perfect to not buy for yourself!
20. How accomplished we feel when we return something, or hold off on a purchase. We just feel like screaming to the world, “WE DO HAVE SELF CONTROL!!!!11”
21. And how we universally brush off people who tell us we need to stop shopping. At least we’re not doing heroine or something!