1. Ben Carson — Sid from ‘Toy Story’
Ben Carson is the guy who is a little unhinged, but everyone has pretty much given up on trying to address it. He has made mind-boggling comments such as suggesting that he wouldn’t trust a Muslim to be President, and that Obamacare is as bad as slavery, but like how Sid’s friends didn’t care that he was a sociopath blowing toys up in his backyard, Carson’s supporters just don’t give a fly.
2. Hillary Clinton — Hopper from ‘A Bug’s Life’
Hopper’s biggest fear is the ants figuring out that they are powerful enough to unseat him, and Hillary Clinton has basically the exact same fear. Clinton and Hopper project “auras of inevitability” because they don’t want anyone to think they could ever possibly be taken down. While everyone tolerates the current arrangement for now, not everyone is happy, and the ants could be marching to the beat of another candidate’s drum.
3. Donald Trump — Al from ‘Toy Story 3’
Both “The Donald” and “The Chickenman” share weird-ass nicknames that begin with “the,” they are both business owners (though their respective successes has very little to do with their actual skill), and both parrot the same old tired self-centered idiocy over and over again.
Al is willing to cheat and steal to get ahead, and Trump is totally on board with that. They both see an objective in money and power, and will both use whatever leverage and say whatever bullshit it takes to get achieve it.
4. Mike Huckabee — Stinky Pete from ‘Toy Story 3’
Ideologically unbendable, terrible fashion sense, not beyond emotional and spiritual manipulation to secure support, and in actuality pretty heartless to groups they detest (free toys / gay people / Islamic people etc.). Basically, these two are hideous carbon copies of each other.
5. Marco Rubio — Randall Boggs from ‘Monsters Inc.’
Rubio and Boggs, besides sharing a lot of common letters, both appear fairly reasonable on the outside, but are actually big ole’ buckets of crazy. While Rubio seems more moderate than Trump, Carson, and co, he has actually proven to be of the same mold, suggesting that all places where Muslims “gather to be inspired” should be shut down.
Likewise, Randall Boggs seems like just another ambitious employee, but then you realize he has a secret torture lab in the basement of the company and get v. v. concerned.
6. Jeb Bush — Jeff Fungus from ‘Monsters Inc.’
Okay, first, there is a serious physical resemblance here. Geeky, large square-ish face etc. You have to see it, right??
Both are trying to move outside the shadows of their betters, but are kinda-sorta failing. While Jeff Fungus is stuck behind his boss Randall, Jeb is continually compared to his ex-President family members.
7. Bernie Sanders — Dr. Philip Sherman from ‘Finding Nemo’
Poor sweet ole’ Bernie is almost identical to this well-meaning dentist who doesn’t even realize he is a movie’s primary antagonist. They both just wander through life doing their thing, and suddenly they are enslaving sentient fish or railing on about Super PACs.
8. Rick Santorum — Charles F. Muntz from ‘Up’
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Obsessive, boy can you say these two are obsessive. Charles Muntz is dead-set on capturing this never-before-seen exotic bird, and will stop at nothing — I say literally nothing — at accomplishing this uncompromising objective. By the time of the movie, he is paranoid and pretty much plum insane.
This parallels perfectly to Rick Santorum, who has taken his religion to such an irrational extreme that he regularly compares same-sex marriage to the 9/11 terrorist attacks and questions whether “sex for pleasure” should be allowed.
9. John Kasich — Anton Ego from ‘Ratatouille’
With both Kasich and Ego we sense, from the very start, that there is some amount of good in them. Or at least we seriously hope so. Anton Ego proved to have a good heart with his restaurant review at the end of the film, maybe Kasich will end up doing the same?
10. Chris Christie — Lots-O’-Huggin’ Bear from ‘Toy Story 3’
You can’t but help to feel just a little bad for both Christie and Lots-O’. Just a few years back, Christie was seen as a frontrunner for the Republican nomination, and now he barely pulls in single digits. Likewise, Lots-O’ used to have a child that loved him dearly, but like Christie, he was swiftly replaced by some newbs. They are both bitter, and, for better or for worse, both probably getting close to the ends of their stories.
11. Carly Fiorina — Auto from ‘WALL-E’
If the prime directive is to win, Carly Fiorina is just as determined as Auto to fulfill it. She rose from the bottom-tier with impressive debate performances to get the public’s attention, and she has lasted far longer than many expected.
Both command attention, and are strong presences on every stage, but is one of the other Republican candidates getting close to turning off Carly’s auto-pilot and finishing her ascent?
12. Rand Paul — Chick Hicks from ‘Cars’
You have to wonder how it feels to get national attention, be lauded as a rising star, and then in the years that follow, perpetually get dumped on the back burner. Racer Chick Hicks is the perennial “runner up” and it seems like Rand Paul might also be stuck a few rungs away from the top.
13. Ted Cruz — Buddy Pine (aka Syndrome) from ‘The Incredibles’
Buddy just wanted to be a super hero, and nobody let him.
Ted Cruz just wanted to control every aspect of the Republican agenda and make it super duper conservative and nobody let him.
So they both suited up. Buddy got rich and bought his own superpowers, and Cruz found rich Super PACs and ran for President.