The Internet Can’t Get Enough Of This American’s 100 Hilarious Observations Of England!

Scott Waters had absolutely no idea that his playful afternoon Facebook post about a trip to the UK would be covered by numerous digital media outlets, be shared over 80,000 times, and receive almost 150,000 likes. But it did, and that is because it is hilarious.

Scott’s Facebook post outlined 100 observations of life in England during his time abroad. Many of these are direct comparisons to the United States. Take a look! Numbers added for ease of reference.

1. Almost everyone is very polite

2. The food is generally outstanding

3. There are no guns

4. There are too many narrow stairs

5. Everything is just a little bit different

6. The pubs close too early

7. The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards

8. Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.

9. You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage

10. Refrigerators and washing machines are very small

11. Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter

12. People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government

13. Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t

14. Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare

15. Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?

16. Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers”

17. The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling

18. “Fanny” is a naughty word, as is “shag”

19. All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.

20. There’s no dress code

21. Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open

22. They eat with their forks upside down

23. The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars

24. They don’t seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are

25. The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything

26. There are hardly any cops or police cars

27. 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why

28. When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling

29. Black people are just people: they didn’t quite do slavery here

30. Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them

31. Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps”

32. HP sauce is better then catsup

33. Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.

34. After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food

35. The water controls in showers need detailed instructions

36. They will boil anything

37. Folks don’t always lock their bikes

38. It’s not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages

39. Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter

40. Nearly everyone is better educated then we are

41. If someone buys you a drink you must do the same

42. There are no guns

43. Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You’re welcome.

44. Avoid British wine and French beer

45. It’s not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don’t, everyone knows you’re an American

46. Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks

47. There’s no AC

48. Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper

49. Gas is “petrol”, it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter

50. If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always

51. You don’t have to tip, really!

52. Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries

53. Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does

54. You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in

55. Walking is the national pastime

56. Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours

57. They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven’t put them all back up yet

58. Everyone enjoys a good joke

59. There are no guns

60. Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere

61. There are no window screens

62. You can get on a bus and end up in Paris

63. Everyone knows more about our history then we do

64. Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good

65. The newspapers can be awful

66. Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you’re paying

67. Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer

68. Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated

69. The beer isn’t warm, each style is served at the proper temperature

70. Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.

71. Excess cider consumption can be very painful.

72. The universal greeting is “Cheers” (pronounced “cheeahz” unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it’s “chairz”)

73. The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.

74. Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money

75. Cars don’t have bumper stickers

76. Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America

77. By law, there are no crappy, old cars

78. When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn’t lose the “1”

79. Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding

80. BBC 4 is NPR

81. Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)

82. Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own

83. You’re defined by your accent

84. No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is

85. Football is a religion, religion is a sport

86. Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse

87. The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable

88. Drinks don’t come with ice

89. There are far fewer fat English people

90. There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv

91. If you’re over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.

92. They don’t use Bose anything anywhere

93. Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste

94. Every pub seems to have a pet drunk

95. Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it

96. Cake is one of the major food groups

97. Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful

98. There are still no guns

99. Towel warmers!

100. Cheers

While Scott was extraordinarily surprised about the post’s popularity, he certainly does not dislike the publicity!

See Scott’s original Facebook post below:

I wonder if Scott will share observations from anywhere else he has traveled. TC mark

Jacob Geers

Jacob has written things @ Thought Catalog. Maybe Like him👍 and Follow him🙋?

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