Serial Sh*ter Still At Large After Defecating On Over 14 Cars

Residents in Akron, Ohio have been struggling to combat a serial shiter who has been publicly “doing the #2” on cars, in yards, and even on children’s play toys. The menace, who was dubbed the “bowel movement bandit,” has managed to elude authorities for over three years.

Not only is his criminal activity repulsive, it has also divided the sleepy Akron community where it is occurring.

“I was questioning my son: Who do you have mad at you?” said the resident, who did not want to be named. “People were pointing fingers all over the place.” (NBC)

A resident finally had enough of the dastardly defecator and set up a surveillance camera. The video managed to get footage of the serial shitter in the act.

Akron Police posted the following message on their Facebook page.

Which people responded to with any number of puns:

Recently, the Akron Police have announced that they are suspending their investigation because apparently there are more pressing cases to work on. The footage, however, seems to have scared the shit out of the vandal, as there have been no new reports of public defecation since.