Worked 2 days at a car wash. Day 2, saw a customer hand the manager a tip for the guy who had just finished cleaning the interior. The guy who had cleaned it went inside for a drink of water, as the customer was taking a second. Anyways, the manager pocketed the tip and told the employee that he got stiffed. Told my new coworker, told the manager I changed my mind about working there, and never went back.
I got a job working on the bins, going around in the truck picking up trash around town. On my first day I was assigned to my crew, who turned out to all be fucking marathon runners who used the job to train. The driver would drive around town, never stopping, and the crew would run alongside non stop for 8 fucking hours, throwing the trash in as we went.
I am a big guy, I am not designed to run for 8 hours. I almost died about 10 times.
Fantastic guys, top blokes, but sod that. I made my excuses at the end of the shift and never went back and got some contract work at a factory instead the next day.
lol speaking of temp agencies…
Was using one to look for work years ago. They told me they had a job for me at a chicken processing plant. I’m like wait hold on I dunno about that. They assured me I would only be loading and unloading trucks.
Carpool there the next morning with 3 other tempers. They have us suiting up with full body rubber and plastic suits, covered head to toe. This isn’t looking good. They bring us out onto the floor in a large assembly line room.
Chicken carcasses start coming into the room on a conveyer belt, hanging from hooks. There are stations set up around the room doing different things to prep the chicken. At first they have me at the end of the line, catching the finished chicken carcasses as the guy before me literally tosses them to me lol, and hanging them on the outgoing belt. Okay, kind of gross, but I guess I can do this for a day.
It wasn’t to be, however. No more than 45 minutes later they move me to a new station. Now my job is to forcefully shove this high-powered vacuum hose up the chickens ass to suck out it’s intestines etc. This was not only much grosser, but also quite physically laborious trying to keep up with the conveyor belt.
I lasted maybe 20 minutes before I decided to leave. Receptionist asks me where I’m going. Told her I was told I was only here to load and unload trucks. She says that was never the case. “Well, sorry about your luck,” I say, and walk out, in the middle of nowhere with little idea where I was. Took me a couple hours to find and walk to the nearest town where I called a friend to come pick me up. Never went back to another temp agency.
Worked in a cafe as a teenager as a server. On my first day, they threw me into the lunch rush with no training. (We also had not done my hiring paperwork, but that’s another story.) Then they got mad at me because I was too slow and not doing things right. I left after less than 2 hours.
I also worked at Walmart for about a month (not a day, I know) but quit because a guy started stalking me – coming into my department every day, asking my work hours, where I lived, what my phone number was. He followed me home on the bus one day but there were tons of people around so I RAN home and luckily he couldn’t follow me. Filed a police report but the Walmart security wouldn’t do anything for me. So I quit.
Slight twist: I interviewed for Vector Marketing out of college thinking I was about to hit it big, day of the interview when they brought up the knives I realized where I was. They interviewed us in groups of about twenty, and then we had “Private interviews” with three other people (what?) and they basically asked if we were interested in taking the next step. I said “Sure!” as excitedly as I could, but as soon as he told me to wait in the other room for the next segment, I walked the fuck out.
I remember walking to my car and looking up at the window to the second story office, and the manager was giving me a death stare through the blinds like an old dead woman from a 90’s horror movie.
I just looked away and drove home. Fuck those people. I used it as an interview practice and never felt a second of regret for walking out.
In my early twenties I took a job at a call center. It was outbound calls, but I was okay with this since I was only calling people who were already members of the service we offered and asking if they planned to renew the upcoming year and offer them incentives to do so.
After all the training and whatnot I arrive to work ready to start my actual job on the call floor. I find that I don’t have a place to sit, much less work. So I ask my manager what’s going on and he tells me I’ve been moved over to the other side of the building.
I figured, meh, whatever. Doesn’t really matter where I’m sitting, a phone is a phone. Things is, they didn’t just move my seat, they switched me to an entirely different function. I was now supposed to cold-call AOL subscribers and attempt to sell them crap they probably didn’t want.
I did make an attempt, but I wasn’t trained on the system they used for this call-type, and I wasn’t comfortable with what I was doing. The method they were using made it feel like I was trying to literally force them to buy something from us. Think of the bill-collector attitude, but from someone in sales. Ugh.
Anyway, after a couple hours of attempting to do this job with no training and a loathing for what I was doing I had-had enough. I went to the manager and asked him to fix this. I was not supposed to be in this call-type, and I wanted the job I accepted, the job I trained for.
His exact response, I’ll never forget it: “Go sit back down. You’ll do it until you like it.”
The fuck I will! I walked out.
Probably not as bad as most – but for me… it was pretty fucking heinous.
Just turned 16, got my first job at the only place in my small farming town – McDonald’s.
Of course, teenagers always get the worst shifts – bastards only had me working from 4am-7am, Saturday and Sunday – that’s it. 6 fucking hours a week, with occasional shifts possible in the evenings throughout the week (if someone called off). But hey, money is money – and to a teenager, a few dollars is a lot. So I said SURE!
Anyway, my FIRST DAY – I get in there 4am to help open the place. The night shift that closed the night before, had taken the grease traps – on the side of the giant grill – and dumped them into this giant 55 gallon trash bag, on top of all the spoiled/dropped/bad food. My first task? To empty that fucking trashcan.
I thought sure, no problem – how hard could it be to empty the trash?
As soon as I laid hands on the rims of the trashcan, which was on wheels, I knew I was fucked. It was just covered in nasty ass grease; that yucky wtf did I just touch shit. But whatever I thought, I’ll just wash my hands after.
So I start trying to lift this thing – and it is SO FUCKING HEAVY. Immediately the bag starts tearing and you can hear the grease sloshing around in there underneath all the garbage. Which btw, it was fucking foul, it smelled like shit mixed in more older shit.
I stopped and told the manager, like hey… this is going to make a hell of a mess – and it’s so heavy… I don’t think I can lift it.
Keep in mind, I was offensive line in football all through high school – where weight lifting was a regular thing for me.
The manager, this little stick figure of a douche named “Joey” – really some young 20 something guy who had been working McDonald’s since he was 16 too and finally got a manager’s position – you know, the “lifers” at McDonald’s.
He’s like – “YOU CAN’T EMPTY A GARBAGE CAN? HOW WORTHLESS ARE YOU???” – I stammered for a second like… what the fuck did you just say to me??? Before I had time to open my mouth and get myself fired for telling him to fuck off and die he’s like “FINE, I’LL HELP YOU WITH IT SINCE YOU’RE SO WORTHLESS”. Then he started trying to lift it himself.
Of course he had no luck, and ripped the bag even more – by now, grease is starting to splash out here and there. He didn’t think it was that heavy. He THOUGHT the bag was just stuck to the sides. And because the thing was on wheels, he was like “WELL DON’T JUST STAND THERE, COME OVER HERE AND HELP, STUPID”.
Trying to be helpful, I walk over and help start trying to lift this bag. Of course, the small douche tried to push the thing back and forth (thinking it was stuck) as we got it about halfway out – which made the worst happen…
Immediately the bag ripped open, spewing forth day old hamburger grease everywhere – which of course the manager shoved the whole thing (that’s on wheels) forward, which because the bag was halfway out and me lifting the bulk of the weight… it tipped over and exploded all over me. And not just exploded either – it flooded – FLOODED – the entire cooking area. Grease poured down my chest/pants/shoes, all over the floor – and was so thick/fucked up and was grease, it immediately clogged all the floor drains – and just kept on going. It spilled ALL THE WAY from the back in the dish washing area all the way up PAST the cash registers, into the customer dining room.
And worse – I thought it smelled bad in the bag – but that shit was POSITIVELY FOUL IN THE WORST WAY – once it hit the air. And being covered/soaked in that shit – immediately made me throw up. But not no avail, because there was no escaping the stench that now completely covered me.
I puked and gagged for over 5 minutes, where I started to walk out front and to stand outside – where the Manager told me I wasn’t allowed to go. Store policy, they don’t unlock the doors until they open – prevents robberies. I said, grease squishing in my shoes making that fucked up soppy sound – I FUCKING QUIT. LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. He was like “If you leave, you can’t ever come back”. I told him half gagging “LIKE I EVER FUCKING WOULD. FUCK YOU”. Then I left.
And that was first and LAST day I EVER worked at McDonald’s.
It took years for me to even be able to eat from a McDonald’s, and even now – it still makes me a little squeamish. When I do eat there, I don’t eat any of their fucking beef. You couldn’t pay me to eat that shit, /gag – seriously, even now writing this. That was over 10 years ago.
At 18 I worked as a “handicapped” light bulb telemarketer. Two shady guys asked me during my interview if I had ever been hurt. They wanted me to say yes, so I did. Then they asked if it still hurts, again I said yes. They hired me on the spot. The next morning I was in a dimly lit room with ten other people. They tore apart a phone book and had me calling customers reading a script. The script went something like this, ” I am handicapped and I am selling light bulbs for a living, they last a long time, would you like to buy some? ” I left after the first break.
Worked at a call center where they advised us to wear diapers because taking a break was frowned upon. Quit the first time I had to take a piss.
I was hired to be a receptionist, but while I was being shown around someone mentioned ‘oh, and if an angry customer ever gets violent just lock yourself in the bathroom and call the police. We already installed a phone in there!’.
Left at lunch and never looked back.
This was just an interview, but it was a doozie! Here’s a breakdown of how the entire encounter went. I was looking for a second job to fill in my free time, and thought bartending would be fun. Found a job posting, invited for an interview at noon.
- The bar is shaped like a boat and it’s basically pitch black inside.
- Immediately harassed by a drunk patron (remember, it’s noon) who ordered me to undress as part of my interview. Hah hah hah?
- Owner comes downstairs and I feel his eyes all over me. Not a good sign.
- Tells me I’ll make $3.15 an hour. What?
- Informs me that the uniform is an oversized men’s button-up, bikini bottoms, and flats. That’s it.
- Gestures to my chest and says “Oh and don’t worry if you think you’re too small! Sometimes small is better!”
I’m pretty sure I laughed for a full 15 minutes after fleeing that shit hole. The dude called me at least three times after that trying to get me to accept the job.
And to think that I thought bagging giftware was a pain…