Don’t cook this at home, kids.
No, but seriously. Don’t. You might get evicted from your home. That’s what happened when an unidentified man took some “creative license” while baking a type of British pastry known as a “pasty” in an apartment that he shared with four roommates.
The female roommate who initially encountered the man eating his poop-filled pasty asked the man what was in it. The man coyly replied that it was his “magic sauce”. Later, the roommate returned to the kitchen and smelled something vile.
“I checked in the bin and I opened the oven because he had put some food in there and you could see a pasty filled with poo. I was horrified. I just puked up. I was heaving,” the roommate said.
She was so freaked out she stayed with a friend for multiple days after.
The man insisted that it was just his “magic sauce”, but the roommate is adamant that it was “definitely poo”. The man has since been evicted from the premises by the British housing assistance program that had placed him.
“It has been very unfortunate. For the person in question we have been liaising with other statutory organisations regarding his welfare but are also aware with the impact on the other people in the house.”
Also, for some reason I find this animatronic video’s explanation of the situation hysterical:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3zRaXezho0
You can’t write fiction as strange as this… 
