So I don’t know if any of you have ever dated someone you work with, but my friend Stephen has done it. One time. Well, kind of two times. But it’s all at once. This is the tale of his quill, and the two bottles of ink he dipped it in.
So the story begins. Stephen was a junior, and was working at the school’s meal hall, Ed’s Express. On one glorious Friday in September, he was at work, chatting with a young lass named Jess. They’d been flirtatious for about two weeks, had tried to unsuccessfully to meet up at a party, and were really clicking.
So Stephen ended up getting her number and after texting, they ended up hanging out with her friends, and he stayed the night. He claims nothing happened, and I believe him. Especially since he said that he thought he found a keeper.
The following week, he made her dinner… something like chicken Parmesan carbonara… And things were progressing really smoothly. They started dating casually, but Jess was not ready to settle down like Stephen was.
“I’m not ready from my last relationship, it might be a week, a month, or four months… I just need some more time,” said Jess.
Stephen said he was fine with that because they were still hanging out, and she was great in bed. He enjoyed hanging out with her and liked her friends. So he was waiting for Jess to come around, but unfortunately, she wasn’t ready yet. This is where the story starts to get sticky.
Luna, who also works with Stephen and Jess, came into the school year dating a boy who was two years younger than her and was not going to last. Stephen had a thing for her right away, but decided he wasn’t going to make a move while she had a boyfriend.
Well, fourish weeks into the year, Luna and her man broke up. While at work, Stephen chatted with Luna as usual, but now that she was single, he was also trying to gauge her interest. Then they started texting. It started out with a couple random messages, but soon it was everyday. This brings us to the two week stretch where everything went from fun to kablooie.
Mon. Oct. 11th
The night before Stephen’s 21st birthday. Jess picked up his work shift so he could go to the bars at midnight. He still wasn’t involved with Luna past friend level, but in his drunkenness, he texted her all night because Jess was at work, and almost went to her place to crash. He was too hammed and I had to take him home.
Fri. Oct. 15th
Stephen’s birthday party night. Both girls were in attendance. Jess’ friend was in town so she wasn’t going to be sleeping over for sure. Luna had been partying with Stephen’s roommate Julia all night. Julia asked if anything was going to happen with Jess. At this time, Stephen was contemplating moving on from her in the relationship standpoint because he wanted to see what Luna had to offer.
And he was drunk.
And it was his birthday party night.
So, he told Julia that Jess and him wouldn’t ever be a couple. Julia relayed this to Luna, who took it as Stephen and Jess were no longer dating.
Stephen’s shirt included a list of 21 things to do during his party, which included, get a lap dance. With Jess out of the picture, Luna seized her opportunity with Stephen. She spent the night, but nothing more than a little macking and hand play happened, according to Stephen.
Mon. Oct. 18th
Stephen went over to Luna’s apartment to watch a movie and they had their first sober kiss, followed by several others. He walked her to work and then joined her and Jess there about an hour later. Still good with both girls, he spent the hour and a half of the time they were all there going back and forth, talking with Jess, then Luna and then Julia about the other two… Still good.
After work, Julia confronted Stephen and said that he had to be honest with Jess and tell her about Luna.
Tues. Oct. 19th
“We need to talk,” was all Stephen texted Jess the next day. He told her that he was not ready for a relationship and that he had kissed Luna at his birthday party. Jess actually was very cool about it at all.
“We were never exclusive,” Jess had said, “but I think I am finally ready to give this a shot. Take some time to think about it.”
Wed. Oct. 20th
Jess asked if she can come over to talk, and Stephen told her, “I’m not ready for a relationship, but I want to keep hanging out, and maybe I’ll get there. I’m scared that you’re going abroad and I don’t want to get hurt when that happens.”
So they maintained their Friends with Benefits situation, but the bomb’s clock was now ticking.
Thurs. Oct. 21st
Stephen made Luna dinner, accompanied by wine, a movie and some serious make out time. He walked her home and was chilling in our living room, watching Gamer.
And then, out of nowhere, everything went Kablooie.
At about 10:30 Julia called him saying, “Shit is hitting the Fan!” Moments later, Jess called Stephen saying, “I don’t want to be played,” and Stephen said that he didn’t mean for her to get hurt. The conversation stalled, and Jess said she would call him back.
Unfortunately for Stephen, he didn’t know what was happening on the girls’ end. Apparently, Jess called Luna, bawling and spilling everything. Apparently, they talked for about a half hour, and by the end of it, the two colors of ink had fused into one angry shade.
Jess texted two words “We’re done.”
Two minutes later, Luna texted him, “I didn’t know you were still dating her.”
Stephen was baffled, and had just lost both women.
Cap the ink bottles.
It was an insanely crazy month-and-a-half, and in the process of trying to find the right girl, Stephen lost and hurt two people he cared about. The moral of the story is this: Never date a coworker, and if you do, don’t try to juggle two of them. Stupid Stephen.