When you break up with a best friend or even just drift apart, it’s sometimes harder than breaking up with a significant other. Your other half, and the person you call first for everything isn’t there anymore. Last year I broke up with my best friend of fourteen years and now I’ve taken a step back and learned a few lessons from this ordeal.
1. You will meet other incredible people, some which are even better for you than the old best friend. As much as it pained me to admit at first, I’ve found some great people that I can tell now are going to be around for a long time.
2. Time spent together is not a reason to stay friends. My friendship at the very end was almost solely based on the fact that we’ve been together for so long and have been through rough situations together. You can’t base a relationship on old memories.
3. You know deep down in your gut if something just does not feel right anymore. Yes it will hurt losing that part of your life, but you sometimes need to break free and learn who you are in the present without that person playing a role in your life.
4. You can check in on them once you’re ready and they’re ready. I finally had the guts to just check in on my old friend and she kindly responded. You both need time to think, so don’t just Facebook them right after you decided not to be friends anymore.
5. People do change. This argument of if people really do change has been around for centuries. I can tell you that my 20 year old self wouldn’t do half of the things my 22 year old self has done. People grow apart as the wise old overused quote tells us and most likely what your friends and parents will tell you when you explain to them you have drifted away from said best friend.
6. You have the beautiful memories with your ex-bestie, keep them and remember the people you are when they took place. You will be able to look at pictures without asking why you drifted in the first place.
7. They may do something you don’t like when you’re not friends anymore. Just ignore it and move on with your life and care about the people in your life in the present.
8. You do not need them in your life and they do not make you who you are as a person. If someone can’t accept the real you that you hide from 99% of the world, then they aren’t worth a tear over.
9. Best Friends Forever doesn’t actually hold up a good portion of the time. I’ve come to realize that a best friend may just be the person you hang out with the most or have known the longest.
10. Everyone thinks they’re right in most instances, remember it’s based all on perspective- a perspective neither of you can see. Try to empathize, but if it is a plain black and white scenario then you know what to do.
11. Some friends are family, and those are the very few that you may only come across once in a lifetime. If your ex best friend really was that person you considered family, then nothing, not even something disastrous or extremely painful would make you want to give them up for good. Sure once something terrible happens you want to take them out of your life right away and make sure they don’t hurt you again, but if you know that decision was a fluke and they come back to you, they are family.