How To Turn A Birthday Threesome With Your “Best Friend’s” F**k Buddy Into A Three Year Relationship

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Sounds like a sticky situation, eh? Maybe I just got a little more interesting, eh? How does one turn a tacky 24th birthday into the most meaningful relationship ever? Well a lot of alcohol, obviously. It was my last day of being 23 and I could still drink like a fish. It was also the year I started my winning combination of alcohol and anti-depressants. But for some reason I decided to make turning 24 something I would remember, so I accomplished that. For some reason my best friend’s roommate put this opportunity right into, well, my lap, and she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her and her fuck buddy that she really liked a lot. Was she kidding? Was she serious? I didn’t know. I just said “sure.” I was surprised at my casualness toward this decision I just made that was… kind of a big deal. But I knew the guy, and I liked him. I found him a very endearing goofball, so I thought why the fuck not? And plus, I didn’t think it would actually happen, and I certainly didn’t know that my soon to be boyfriend was watching threesome porn to prepare him for this event in his manhood.

Finally we decided to make this happen. The guy sneaks in. To make things easy we all smoke a lot of weed. It was one of his first times getting high, but something that became a staple throughout our whole relationship, so needless to say he was enjoying the high… along with the attention of two girls who were going to let him have sex with them. I figured this would be easy for me since they fucked regularly, so I was like the third wheel. But I liked that I was the third wheel that would likely get the most attention because I was new to him, and well, to be honest, a hell of a lot prettier than my friend, and someone Alex thought was out of his league. What can I say? I like compliments and attention. And despite being introverted, I like to be the star of the show.

To get the ball rolling we turned on Law and Order: SVU while Janna and I took turns making out with Alex on the futon. Here’s the bad news, boys: Janna and I never hook up. I thought I would get that out of the way now. So really it’s just the guy sequentially having sex with two girls. Pretty awesome for him, but I only had sex with one person in my threesome because I am not your typical girl. As we are making out I hear Ice-T on the TV over a police siren, saying,, “we have a paraplegic prostitute…” That killed my buzz. I insist that SVU is not good background music for a threesome. Fortunately for some reason Family Guy seemed okay to me.

Now comes the juicy part of the story, or the part that made you click on this link, he puts on a condom and goes over to me and I say, in my sultry voice that sounded a lot like fear trying to be cool, “she can go first.” I needed at least three minutes to get my shit together. I was wearing a short dress and leggings, and I am not telling you that to paint a sexy picture but rather the opposite. I pull down my leggings and underwear down and keep the dress on. I didn’t want my friend to see me naked after all. This was a classy threesome. So while they go at it I realize that I have no clue what I am supposed to be doing right now. I would sexily watch, but the girl was my friend and again, I had no desire to see her naked. Or going at it. Then it’s my turn.

He comes over to me. I guess he figured he was about halfway done, plus I was the one in the threesome that he hadn’t had sex with before so I considered myself kind of the finale. He leans over to me and whispers, “Are your pants off?” and I nod really fast. And it happened. I liked him, but that was the most magical thing I got out of this experience. For some reason that made me feel less slutty.

We all promise not to tell what happened, and for some, naïve, stupid reason I believed that nobody would ever tell. I believed that this college boy who just accomplished what any other college boy would die to do. Clearly I was wrong. And when said boy and I got together it was a shock to the entire college theatre community (could you not tell that we were college theatre kids by now?). But I didn’t care, and I am the only person I know to make a successful relationship by being the third wheel in a threesome. TC mark

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