Let’s get one thing clear: I’m not here to talk shit about the sex. The sex is great. Like, “fingernails in the back, can’t feel my legs, neighbors wonder if somebody is getting killed” great. I don’t think I’ve ever had better sex with anybody, so I don’t want this to sound like I’m somehow dissatisfied, and I hope you aren’t either.
The sex with you is great. But waking up next to you…waking up next to you is amazing.
Because, let’s face it: If I just want to get off, I have ways of making that happen. I didn’t buy that bottle of lotion because of my chapped skin. Let’s just say, the URLs exist. And while comparing that to having sex with you is like being in the front row of a concert versus watching an iPhone recording on YouTube, at the end of the day, I can get off on my own.
Waking up next to you, though, is something I can’t do without you. Running my hand over your back, my fingertips gently grazing your skin, is something that I can’t get from some random hook-up, the kind when I’m eager to leave as soon as the buzz starts to wear off. Smelling your hair, before it’s washed, when it smells like you – not the shampoo that reminds me of you, but you.
And then, the money shot: making you smile with a word, a half-asleep joke, a complaint about waking up. That feels better than the best sex I’ve ever had. Feeling you press your body close to me and feeling you laugh, into my arm, before the world has caught up with us.
Knowing that you’re not just a dream I had.
As good as the sex is, the reason I spend the night is so I can wake up next to you. Because the sex lasts a few minutes, but waking up next to you lasts all day. That first kiss in the morning – morning breath and all – is better than coffee. It’s the kind of feeling that I can’t find anywhere else, other than waking up here with you in my arms.