My sad, pathetic trio family was clustered around the table. My mom to my left, probably just dying for a smoke and for someone to order chicken so the bill would be a little smaller and Bonnie, clad in blue and white high school graduation garb to my right. I could tell Bonnie probably felt a little bit embarrassed that my mom was making such a big deal out of just graduating from high school. Her and I both knew it was just the bottom of the bar now, not an accomplishment that warranted aged ribeyes and Shirley Temples.
Nonetheless, we sat there, looking about as normal as we probably ever looked. A sharp sadness cut into me when I looked to my right again and saw Bonnie staring into the bottom of her pink soda. The girl never had a chance.
“Yes, I did,” Bonnie’s voice whispered into my ear.
I looked at Bonnie again, she stared at me with wide eyes and a straw stuck in her mouth, her lips sucking up the Shirley Temple.
“You should have been there,” Bonnie said to me, the straw stuck to her bottom lip.
“What?” I was in fucking Iraq,” I shot back.
“You two never took care of me. You think it sucks being a guy who had to grow up a poor piece of shit…well, it’s ten times worse for a girl. You have any idea how hard it is to turn down any guy who can ever offer you something, no matter how scary he is just because you’ve never had anything,” Bonnie went on.
“Bonnie, please. I’m try…” I felt tears hit the warning track in my eyes for the first time in a long, long time.
“And you’re fucking up again. You can’t even figure it out.”
“Please. I’m trying my best.”
“Well your best was never good enough,” Bonnie said just before my vision cut out again.
I opened my eyes and found myself back in a different dirty motel room. The layout of the room was almost identical, but the contents were different. A pink suitcase laid open, overflowing with women’s clothes on the floor next to the bed I laid on. A menagerie of unlit candles dotted the landscape. The smell of cheap perfume burned my nose.