This Is How Love Should Be
By Jay Gee
We live in a generation where, when something breaks, we simply discard it and request for a new one. In the era of our grandparents, they did not possess the luxury of living in abundance as we do and so they resorted to the one thing they could do: fix it.
I witnessed my grandparents exude this trait in all things in their lives, a broken radio, a leaking sink or a snapped antenna. Thrifty some may say, unfortunately however, the same cannot be said by things irreplaceable, such as relationships. The value of a person and the moments shared with an individual are difficult to place a price on.
To simply discard a relationship and throw away the person in your life is I feel, not the same as throwing away your iPhone after its 24 month long contract expired. As the saying goes, “A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house, you Fix the Bulb.” In this case, the Light Bulb represents the passion and love and the house is the relationship. Very often, passion and love will burn out causing most people to abandon the house, to go find a new one.
However, what are we saying by that? We’re saying that we have no staying power, no perseverance, and no ability to commit. What most fail to realise is that a relationship is hard work; everyone believes that if it’s meant to be it will fall in your lap, and we’re led to believe this via the media, the shiny couple photos on instagram.
All these fail to show the other side of it, the fights, the quarrels, the midnight doubts and insecurity. We believe that by finding a new house, we’ll find someone who’s just right for us, but no. Instead little by little, we’ve changed, our mindset and expectations are tweaked and when we do find that “special someone” who fits us like a glove?
Its only because we’ve learnt what love means. It is commitment, it is accepting the other party for who they are, it is knowing that you have to work for the happy ending that everyone is striving for, it is knowing that it will not come easy, but to not give up. It is perseverance.
One phrase that perfectly captures it is, “If you can’t handle a person at their worst, how can you deserve their best?” It fully exemplifies what it means to care for someone, to love someone. I do not believe the saying that out there in a world of 7 billion people, there is ONE person made for you. I believe that everyone you come across with is the ONE for you, but only if both parties want it and work towards it.
Once one party loses interest, that ability to be the ONE vanishes. Every fight, every argument in a relationship is a test. Just like how fire tempers gold, disagreements and fights are fire and the relationship is a hunk of gold ore. To purify the gold, it has to be put through immense pressure, ridiculous heat, only then would it emerge shiny and valuable. It is the same for relationships. It has to go through the fire before emerging stronger, more precious & valuable.