All my life, I’ve been told to just be kind, just be nice and honest. All of these are admirable qualities, they’re the best side of people, but sometimes they aren’t enough. You don’t love your boyfriend because he’s nice, you love him because he’s him, messy, kind a little lost. You don’t admire your best friend because she’s sweet, sure she is, but she’s also crazy, a little battered and probably the best person ever.
You can’t spend your whole life trying so so hard to be nice. Being nice is as cliché as it sounds one of the nicest things in the world but it is not the end all and be all. If being nice means you lose something for yourself then it’s no good. If being nice means you so badly never want to hurt anyone that you forget where your loyalties lie, you eventually lose real friends. If you spend too much time trying to be “nice” you’ll eventually forget all the other qualities you posses that are as much as a blessing as being nice is.
We all have in us, the capacity to be kind. To be loving and every day, everywhere there is examples of it to be seen. But if today is your day to be a little wild, a little crazy and to just think about yourself then that is okay too. When you learn that people will love you for you, you won’t feel the need to be so nice all the time. When you start to become yourself, you’ll start to become kinder because everything you do will be much more sincere. You will mean what you say, you won’t be just “being nice”
This isn’t to say that selfishness is the key to happiness, it’s not. It’s not the key to making lasting friendships either, but if selfishness is learning to be yourself then be selfish. Be selfish and take your time to realize that you are so much more than nice. You are so much more because you have so much more to offer, you can be brilliant, wild, loving, insane, cold, afraid, forgiving, sensitive and you can do all of these things with kindness as long as you are you. The best you can do, is be unapologetic for being you because that is what you have to offer the world and yourself and if someone thinks that being you isn’t “nice” enough then they obviously don’t understand your story. That you are so much more than nice, you are the kindest, craziest, most vivid version of you. Nice won’t even be a concept anymore because being nice is now so rooted in your bones that is simply behind all of these characteristics.
Be nice, but don’t forget that you are always more than just nice.