You’re Not A Real Couple Until You Learn To Compromise

EVREN AYDIN

I don’t dish out love advice that often except to a BFF of mine. I may have not exactly dated a lot but do you really want to date a lot of men? Fine by me if you do, no judgment there. First off, finding love is the easy part (yes, you heard me) but keeping the love in a relationship is the hard part. There are many listicles, articles, or unsolicited advices from friends and family on what a man should do or a woman should do in a relationship. Seriously though, do you even want to follow all that?

I’ve seen couples, married couples, long time couples, gay couples, lesbian couples, basically couples. To set the record straight, we should also bear in mind that there should be gender equality. Scratch that. Forget about gender. Hear me out before bashing me or my article. Focus on two individuals regardless of sex or orientation they may associate with. Let’s look at long time partners who have been together for the longest time and who have gone through tough problems.

Couple #1 are a relatively young pair or people but have been together for years. Probably impossible for millennials today? Hope that’s not the case. Anyway, their beginning was unconventional. They met through their common group of circle and not on social media. Hooked up. Skipping the romantic part, years later they are still together. How did they do it? Did they follow listicles? No, there were no listicles when they were dating and if there were they were probably busy at work. Very hardworking individuals if I should say so myself. I asked them how have they managed still be together. They said it was about compromise. Learn to compromise.

Couple #2 are in their ancient years. Social media and the internet are foreign to them. But they do have access to cellphones. In their days, marriage was something that is forever. Yes, there is still such thing as forever. Anyway, they know marriage wasn’t easy. It sure didn’t make it easier to know what irks them by the time they sealed the forever seal. Small, insignificant mannerisms from each other would easily p*iss each other of and not talk for hours. Somehow they managed to stay forever in love (I hope that’s true.) all these years. If there was a problem, they would try and work at it until reaching a solution agreeable to both of them. And that is what you call compromise.

Once you learn to compromise you will learn what love really is. You love each other and you sure as hell don’t want to lose them. Learn to compromise. If they love you as well they will learn to compromise with you. It’s not really too much to ask compared to the listicles we may have read over the days, weeks or months. Staying together isn’t easy. It’s not all sunshine or unicorns or rainbows. It takes work. You discuss your problems. Find a solution to those problems. Not because your stuck together for whatever reasons but because you want to be stuck together forever in a good kind, loving, happy and blissful way. Being with someone is a choice we willingly (hopefully that is the case) make because we want to be with them. We love them because they care for us and make us better versions of ourselves. If you’ve watched the movie Trainwreck, starring Amy Schumer, her character gives up on the relationship when everything falls apart. In the end, the character chooses to be with the doctor because she still loves him and wants their relationship to work.

Relationships are complicated, honestly they are. There’s no perfect relationship in this world. You both work through it and not give up when you see the first signs of conflict. It’s all about communication, finding a common ground. You both want to stay together because you give each other the kind of feeling no one else can. You’re good for each other and both your lives makes it worth living. You would put off partying and just stay at home watching TV or Netflix with your partner. That’s true love right there. True love means working or fighting for it because you complete each other. Cheesy? Honestly, it is cheesy but once you experience it you might probably think that it’s perfect. Simple and perfect and your true love. TC mark

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