It’s the freaking weather, man. Maybe the air conditioner isn’t working – maybe you don’t even have an A/C unit. And yet, it seems a blessing in disguise. Now, you’re already really sweaty, so you don’t care how much you’ll mess up your hair and there’s no way for you to sweat all the way through your clothes…again.
Now it’s time to get funky in the heat!
1. Actually use that stationary bike in your basement.
You’re not getting any less sweaty, which has always been your excuse coming home from work or sitting down to watch another episode of what’s on Netflix. But now you can work out and get as sweaty as you need to in order to start cycling again.
Whether you’re working on that new ab workout, or trying an exercise video.
2. Sweat it out in public – it’s ok! Everyone’s doing it!
Take a path through the neighborhood, maybe run through some sprinklers (if you’re lucky).
And if you’re feeling extra bold, you can sweat (on purpose) in front of other people doing the same. Go to the gym. Sign up for a Zumba class. Yoga or a variation of aerobics with a group.
It can be intimidating – even a smidge depressing – to have to start using one of those exercise balls with that chick on the treadmill who seems to be going as fast as a cheetah or the guy with a WWE shirt that’s gleaming with the hard-earned sweat of bench-pressing what could be a Clydesdale. But now, when you strut in there ready to get down to business, you are already sweaty from walking across the YMCA’s parking lot! It evens the playing field a little, doesn’t it?
3. Invest some good hours in learning how to twerk.
Without a doubt, this is one of the most employable skills you can have in this decade. Seriously. How much control do you have over your own butt?
Because twerking is all about letting go of that control and shakin’ it like a Polaroid. And yeah, it’s sweaty. And if you’re not in the right mindset, it might be odd to just get right down to business and twerk it. However, in this weather, we’re already sweating. Hard. This is key – that way, when you start your twerking practice, you don’t have to feel embarassed by “starting.” It will feel like you’ve been doing this for a while – with all that sweat that you’ve already worked up.
Now here is the musical genius of Lady to bring it all home for you:
4. Mosh pitting.
Throw yourself into crowds of strangers (even angry strangers). There’s something about the raw emotions of a crowd of sweaty strangers as they sway together. There’s a little bit of aggression, and there’s trust that as you push one way, there will be a push back, and you won’t just fall flat on your face.
If you haven’t had your ears melted at a metal concert, any sort of rock will do. It’s ridiculous to think that Justin Bieber fans don’t get a little angry at not being close enough to the stage to smell his boyish musk – which is why they crawl and shove all over one another to get to him. And that counts as a mosh pit.
Being in crowds creates adrenaline and chaos. And unless you’re in the midst of a mass evacuation from a city infested with the zombie virus, you’ll be fine. Just don’t bring a goldfish in or a baby. Those probably won’t last long.