Why Are You Pretending To Be Someone You’re Not?

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Pete Bellis / Unsplash

Why are you pretending? Why are you hiding? Why are you wearing a mask?

Why are you pretending not to love someone when you do? Why are you pretending to love someone when you don’t? Why are you pretending to not give a shit when you do? Why are you pretending to give a shit when you don’t?

Why are you making your life more difficult?

Yes. You are making your life more difficult. You can tell yourself repeatedly that you’re hiding who you really are because the world is cruel, but really, you’re hiding yourself because you’re not brave.

I’m sorry, it’s a harsh thing to say, but I’m saying it because I want you to be the bravest goddamn person you can be.

The world can be cruel, always has been, but there are so many people out there who don’t let that stop them from taking off their masks. They are not deterred, no matter how scary revealing themselves to the world may be. No matter how scary exposing yourself even to a small group of friends may be.

There’s just no point, and to be honest, it doesn’t make any sense. I know when we explain it to ourselves it does, but just hear [read: read] me out.

You’re pretending to be someone you’re not or pretending to like something you don’t because you’re afraid. You’re scared that if you don’t say you like something, you’ll get judged for it, or you’re afraid that if you act like whom you really are, you’ll be judged for it.

The harsh truth is that you will be judged because as we’ve already established, people can be cruel sometimes. But here’s the other thing.

Some people are judging you for saying that you like that thing you actually don’t like. Others don’t like the person that you’re pretending to be (though they don’t know you’re pretending).

What I’m trying to get at is that people are always going to judge you. Always! You can never win. You can’t please everyone no matter how much you want to.

Some people may like you and others may not. Some might think you’re the most beautiful person (on the inside) on the planet and others might think that you’re a bitch.

That’s the plain and simple truth.

So, here’s why it doesn’t make sense to pretend to be someone you’re not: You never fucking win, so you might as well be yourself.

It’s exhausting to put on a mask every day, and if people are going to be assholes whether you wear that mask or not, might as well take it off. It sucks knowing that people are going to judge you sometimes no matter what choice you make, but that’s reality, and it’s about time that we all accept that.

We can all try to make the world a better place, and I hope we never stop trying, but for now, I think life would be easier if we admitted to ourselves that not everyone’s going to like us.

Once we do that, we can relax, and take some deep breaths, and realize that we’re still okay.

Here’s the amazing part: once you stop trying to fit in, you’ll attract your real friends. The ones who don’t want you try to fit in, but the ones who will love you no matter what.

Doesn’t that sound liberating? Doesn’t it sound like a really good freaking idea? To just be who you are?

Try it. Please, please, please, give it try. Say what you really want to say and be who you are.

Be brave. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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