50 Ways You’re Coming Off Clingier Than You Mean To

iStockPhoto.com / Leonardo Patrizi
iStockPhoto.com / Leonardo Patrizi

Have you ever been talking to someone and all of a sudden you realize how serious their feelings are for you? It’s possible that the reason they feel so strongly (and the reason they believe you two are going steady) is that you’ve done one or more of the things on this list of behaviors that can lead the person you’re “talking to” to believe you’re suddenly “going together.”

1. You buy them name brand peanut butter (even if you don’t like peanut butter).

2. You cook two out of the three meals they eat in a day.

3. You suggest eating out at a restaurant that doesn’t have a ‘value menu.’

4. You tell them you’re doing something for them that you’ve never done in any other past relationship.

5. You invite to join you for a picnic.

6. You plan a candle lit dinner.

7. You hold their hand in public.

8. You go through their phone.

9. You have more than three CLEAN and FOLDED articles of their clothing at your house.

10. You wash their clothes.

11. You have a selection of shoes, shirts, and/or sleepwear for them to choose from at your house.

12. You keep a set of towels for them in your bathroom.

13. You have a personal toothbrush for them in your bathroom.

14. You introduce them to your parents.

15. You introduce them to all your friends.

16. You spend more than two nights per week at their house.

17. You assume you’ll be spending weekend nights together.

18. You hang out at their house when they’re not there.

19. You drive their car without replacing the gas.

20. You clean their ears.

21. You cut their toenails.

22. You clean their fingernails.

23. You trim their hair.

24. You buy personal items for them.

25. You touch their feet.

26. You shower together.

27. You let them see you in your head wrap / curlers / etc..

28. You let them see you in “Celie braids.”

29. You let them see you in “Celie braids” and no makeup.

30. You give them money towards paying a bill.

31. You offer them a set of keys to your apartment.

32. You nurse them back to health.

33. You fart in their bed.

34. You have a bowel movement in their house without spraying air freshener.

35. You pee while they’re in the bathroom.

36. You’ve talked to them while they’re ‘on the toilet.’

37. You question them about other men.

38. You tell them they’re the only person you’re sleeping with.

39. You spend so much time together that people automatically assume you’re a couple.

40. You can spend quality time together without having sex.

41. You’ve ever given them ANY reason to go to a clinic and use their insurance card.

42. You’ve done their homework and/or helped them with a professional project.

43. You’ve done anything excessively freaky with them in bed.

44. Your tongue has touched their ass.

45. You list them as your emergency contact for ANY reason.

46. Your boss knows who they are.

47. You fuck them even though they’re unemployed.

48. You send texts that automatically convert to multimedia message.

49. You have to explain ANY decision you make to them.

50. You fight or argue with anyone else to defend their honor.

Hopefully, you laughed a good bit, but also have a better idea of some things that scream “WE’RE TOGETHER.” If you don’t really like someone or have no intentions of being serious with that person, don’t take advantage of boyfriend or girlfriend privileges. It’s just flat out misleading and hurtful to the person who is choosing to invest their time and emotions in you! TC mark

Isis Nezbeth

I choose my men like I choose my liquor--you can trust my advice.

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