A month ago, my thirteen months and twelve days long distance relationship ended. But, what you will be reading here is not about what happened, or that I miss him, or that I can’t let him go, or that I want him back. No, hell no. In fact, I’m glad it’s over.
This is about the life I found after I finally got out of the hell I was in for over a year.
I would be lying to myself and to everyone if I say our breakup didn’t break me. It did break and hurt me like hell. In fact, I really thought I wouldn’t survive. That the earth would eat me alive, that my life was over, and that I would never be happy again. Crappy, same old, drama.
I am here to tell you that life is beautiful.
That same day, I went out to meet with friends, told them what happened, drank as much as I could (only in tolerable doses because I still care for my liver) and prayed. I did the same routine for 30 days. I did everything to survive. I did not give my brain some time and space to allow bad memories to flashback, even good ones. I did everything to survive, to move on, to accept, and to forgive. And yes, I survived.
I am here to tell you to help yourself.
I totally understand how much it hurts to lose someone you deeply love. I get that, it sucks the life out of you.
But remember, things happen for a reason, and let me tell you this, the reason is always beautiful and surprising. Beautiful, because once someone leaves, better things are coming. Surprising, because whoever comes, it will surely be greater than who left.
Do everything that you can to forget. I don’t care if you need to go out and see friends every day. I don’t care if you need to sleepover at your girl friend’s house every night. I don’t care if you need to post all your dramas on Facebook, or to any social media that you own. I don’t care, just move on, be happy, let go of the guilt, the hurt, and the insecurities.
Don’t let anyone stop you from doing the things that make you feel better because no one has the right to tell you what is right and what is wrong this time. In your current state, you are your own boss. You know yourself better. You know what makes you feel ok, so go ahead and live your life the way you think it is hurt-free.
I am here to tell you that you always have a choice.
You can lock yourself in your room, cry the entire day, ask yourself what went wrong, allow your thoughts to eat you—you can do that if you want. Do that for a week, months, or even years, no one will stop you.
But, I know that one day, you will tell yourself that you don’t want to grieve for your loss anymore, that you are tired of it all. So, you will decide to forget and move on.
So, why not do it right away? Why do you put yourself in a situation, when later on, you will still be feeling ok? You see, at the end of all those sleepless nights, blaming, and wondering, you will still choose to be ok. And then, you will laugh at yourself for being such a cry baby. Funny, right?
I am here to tell you that you will be happy again.
If forgetting and moving on is a choice, choose to be happy.
Go out, meet new friends, help a stranger, double your efforts at work, do something different, find a new hobby, cook a meal for your family, spend time with your cousins, play with your pet, read a book, try new places to eat or dine, go on long drives, treat a friend, watch a movie, pamper yourself, color your nails, have some eyelash extension, give yourself a very relaxing massage, go to the beach, alone or with friends, sponsor a child, hit the gym, try something different, change your routine.
Be weird, be crazy, be wild, be something different. In no time, you’ll get by, and you will be ok, guaranteed.
I am here to tell you that you will love and get hurt again.
You will meet new people. You will like someone. You will love them but it is not guaranteed that they will love you back. It’s either they are in a relationship or they just don’t like you at all. For whatever reason, you will fall in love again, and that’s life.
This time you are stronger, braver, and most importantly, you know better.
I am here to tell you that you will never be alone.
Yes, even if you feel so effing alone. Even if you are ‘literally’ alone, you are not. Your family, friends, and above all, God is with you in this new journey. After all, God is the one who is redirecting you to a new path to save you. Sometimes, God breaks our hearts to guide us down the right path, to bring us back to Him, or to help us make Him a priority in our lives.
Because He is good and trustworthy and He will always do the best thing. God is good, and even though my relationship ended, my heart rested securely in the arms of my Savior. Looking back, I see now that God had to break my heart to remove that person so that He could guide me to a far better one.
God was acting in my best interest, even though it hurts. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Prov. 3:5-6)