I should have never walked over there to hit on you. Actually, up until then, I was fine. I didn’t care. We kept talking and casually going out, but ladies, don’t we all know when it’s time to stop? I know I did.
I had my next steps mapped out. Go out. Find the next prey. Make him fall in love and then act dumb on it. Move on. Repeat it again. But what I failed to remember is that there’s no such thing as no strings attached when you’re a woman who just lives every moment to the fullest.
It doesn’t matter how much you tell yourself that you can indeed be a predator and treat guys the same shitty way that you’ve been treated over and over again. “This time is different,” you lie to yourself. You think you can break hearts, as if you were actually careless enough to have someone’s heart and then just toss it away.
When you pay attention to everything, it’s the smallest details that will be your downfall. Because you’ve been stepped on before, and you know exactly what it looks like when someone actually cares.
“I don’t like you. I don’t like you. I don’t like you.”
You can repeat that as much as you want. It works like a charm. Well, at least for the first three times or so. But once you keep digging deeper, the “not being involved” option fades away. Sometimes you’re already head to toe in, as much as you try to deny that.
Here are the telltale signs.
WHEN YOU’RE NOT WITH HIM:
1. You keep checking your phone to see if there are any messages from him.
Girls, you know this one so well but still choose to ignore it sometimes. When there is a message, you rejoice, and it’s almost like a drug—you get one dose, but you need more and more. But when there aren’t any notifications, you just keep unlocking your phone anyway every 10 minutes to see if anything has changed.
2. You put in more effort when you’re getting ready to go out for the day.
If you’re like me and you spend the entire day out, when you’re getting ready in the morning, you definitely put some more effort there. More makeup, a bit more perfume, extra hair touch ups, etc.
3. You keep wondering about him throughout the day.
Since you still don’t know him well enough, it’s impossible not to wonder. Does he like this song? How does he behave with his parents? Does he have any crazy exes that you should know about? Are you the crazy ex? Would he actually like you if he knew about your weird preferences? Cats or dogs?
4. You come up with excuses to see him out of the blue.
Oh, your car just broke down? Yeah, sure, I’m only two minutes away, I’ll go give you a ride (when you’re actually miles away), it’s no trouble. You’re headed out of work right now? What a coincidence, my boss just told me I can go home, but I guess we could grab something to eat before!
5. You wonder how your loved ones would react if they met him.
Okay, this is the real deal. If you’re actually wondering whether your close friends and family would approve of him or not and the answer is yes and he passed your mind quiz, then you’re definitely so into him.
WHEN YOU’RE WITH HIM
1. You try to act cool but end up looking silly.
Ladies, whenever you plan to do that oh-so-charming walk, the captivating smile, the sexy crossing and uncrossing of legs, all while managing to act as if you’re carefree, it results in a super cute disaster most of the time. You trip, you stumble over your words, and you genuinely laugh out loud. And that’s okay. I can assure you that they like it much better when you’re spontaneous instead of an inflatable doll.
2. On the outside, you act as if their touch didn’t send shivers running up all your spine like a light bulb being turned on by an electric spark.
It’s just the way it is. When the attraction is there, there’s no other way around it. The simple gesture of him touching your leg when he’s talking to you or even putting a loose strand of your hair behind your ear makes you want to melt all over the floor.
3. Your mind sometimes just blanks out.
Ugh. This is seriously the most annoying one. You have so many things to say, but when he’s actually in front of you, nothing that you wanted to talk about actually comes up in your mind. Instead, you just settle for whatever comes up at the moment and hope that it actually leads to a long conversation.
4. There’s this weird, overthinking awkwardness concerning your own body.
What should you do with your hands? Can you gather the courage to touch his hands while talking to him? Can you actually kiss him when you’re saying goodbye or is it too desperate? Should you try and pull your chair closer to his?
5. You try to gather all the information you can.
Literally. In the short period of hours that you spend with him during those first dates, you try to learn everything you can. From childhood to adulthood.