Loving someone is not an overnight process. You don’t wake up and know with certainty that you now love that person. It’s not easy to give all your parts to someone and trust that they’ll know how to handle them. How to take care of them.
Nothing is different to the outside world; no one sees the changes happening. But you do. You feel it.
It’s in the way you look at yourself in the mirror after meeting him.
It’s how you wake up and know you’re getting that good morning text.
It’s being frustrated when you don’t hear from him for 24 hours.
It’s looking at your body and having flashbacks of how it was once loved and touched.
It’s listening to songs and making them fit each and every situation that the both of you have been through.
It’s missing the touch as if a part of you is gone.
It’s hoping for the best but still preparing for the worst (because you’ve been hurt before and can barely believe how good this feels to be real).
It’s seeing something ordinary and remembering how it connects to that someone.
It’s feeling so scared and anxious and excited altogether.
It’s not feeling the need to be with anyone else but that person.
So there it is, this is how you made me addicted. And now it’s insane that I can’t take you out of my head. I carry all these feelings around, and I didn’t even know my body could handle so many emotions at every minute of the day.
I just hope I’m not falling in love on my own. I’m hoping you’ll always be there with me, that you’ll always be in reach and come for me. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I don’t deserve any less than someone who feels just as helpless in love as I do.
So I guess that this is me showing my soul to you in hopes you’ll be handing yours to me.