The Truth About Being The Girl Who Lives With Anxiety

boram kim

For a person who struggles with anxiety, what is normal? One pill to get through the day and and another to be able to sleep soundly at night?

That little girl you see sitting alone at the lunch table will probably grow up to struggle talking to others because she has fear of putting her self out there. Also known as social anxiety.

Or that other little girl who just can not seem to cope with the fact that there is dirt on her pants from tripping while walking. She sits in class digging at her pants to try to remove the stain because it has taken all of her attention. Also known as OCD.

And that other girl, who has had a voice in her head since she was seven years old telling her she can not do anything right. That voice that has caused her to even ruin friendships because she reads to much into them or expects to much.

She believes she is not capable of having intimate relationships and as much as she wants one, she knows she can not mentally handle one.

Anxiety is controlling and can be life ruining. But she has not given up.

Why should she give up when every day she has a new battle? She fights because she knows some days she will win and there is not better glory then winning the one day battle against anxiety. Being able to go one day without overthinking or freaking out about something so irrelevant is the best gift in the world.

Having a self conflict is hard. And unless you tell someone how you feel, no one knows. Anxiety makes these girls do and say things they do not want to say but have impulses that can not be stopped. But why apologize for something they can not help? Instead, they embrace it. They show the world that even with anxiety and that little voice in their heads, they will succeed. They have more strength than anyone they know and just because they do not show it, does not mean it is not there.

That little girl who was afraid to speak up, or could not concentrate because of the stain on her pants will grow up to have so many more issues that will cause her to want to end it all.

But she will not. She will persevere because anxiety does not beat her. It pushes her to be more than she ever even knew she could be.

Take a moment and think about all those people who you judge for getting nervous or overthinking. Well, they do not do it because they want to they do it because it is their human nature. They can not help it.

Anxiety is more than pretending to be alright, it’s actually becoming alright even though you may never be. TC mark

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