We live in a society that is constantly fixated on love, marriage, dating, and relationships. It is everywhere in the world today. We talk about it with our friends and we watch movies that are all about it—we’re kind of obsessed with it, and rightfully so. Love is an incredible thing, and the fact that people have the ability to feel such a thing is miraculous. Yet we’re romanticizing everything that love isn’t. We’re embracing things about love that are unrealistic, and we’re dying to only find our “person.”
I’ve been there. I’ve been that girl who was so fixated on relationships that I had to have one, even if it wasn’t the best thing for me. People trade authentic, genuine relationships for ones that are mediocre, simply because it is a relationship. We fall in love with potential, forgetting that we have to actually date the person that is in front of us. We rationalize the red flags and the constant arguing because that’s what “normal couples do.” We’d take an aesthetically pleasing Instagram photo over a real healthy relationship that is more than just digital likes or comments.
We’re a society that is obsessed with love, and it’s unhealthy. It sends the message to all of us that we need love to be complete. The world conveys to us that we’re incomplete because we’re on our own. Yet when did this become a bad thing?
You’re not incomplete because you’re single.
You have to learn how to go to bed on your own and feel okay with that. You need to learn how to go out by yourself and feel safe in your own skin. You need to understand that another human being isn’t going to give you the worth you’re looking for. You’re the only one who can ultimately give yourself the peace that you need.
You have to learn how to let go of all of the ideas you had that you would always have a faithful lover. You have to let go of this idea in your head that your life is going to get better the minute that you find a partner. You need to realize that having someone doesn’t make you complete. They won’t take away your depression or your anxiety; they won’t solve the world’s problems.
Being in love and having a relationship is a beautiful thing, but it doesn’t complete you.
You need to let go of this idea that you’re only valued when you have someone. You have intrinsic value that isn’t determined by who you’re dating or how you’re dating them.
Whether you have someone this year, next year, or you don’t date for the next ten years, it doesn’t really matter.
If you’re single right now, you are not incomplete. You are whole. You are able to dive into your life and your passions and determine who you are. When the right person comes, they’ll add love and life to your soul, and they’ll ignite a fire within you, but they won’t complete you. You complete you. You are your soulmate.