If You Want To Really Know Someone, You Have To Look For The ‘Why’

friends cheersing with plastic cups
Annie Gray

It seems like we’re obsessed with fitting ourselves on a two sided piece of paper. People ask us who we are and we present them with a resume, a document that we have accepted as an accurate representation of who we are. When you really think about it though, a resume is not a representation of you, it is merely a representation of what everybody else wants to see.

People want to know what we are. They want to know what our name is and what things are attached to it. Titles, promotions, awards, skillsets, references– people want to know what we are, but nobody ever seems to care about why we are.

We have trained our brains to believe that our best moments, the ones we should be most proud of, are those in which we accomplish something that makes us look good on paper to the rest of the world. We are defining ourselves by standards that do not belong to us.

If I’m being honest, I really don’t care what the hell anyone’s name is. I don’t care what school they go to, I don’t care what they’re studying, I don’t even care if they go to school at all.

I don’t care if they dream of making millions one day and owning an excess amount of luxury cars, or if their idea of “making it” is living minimally out of a backpack and traveling the world.

I don’t care what they do, I don’t care what they want, I don’t care who they are. I do care why, though.

I care about why they go to school, I care about why they chose to study whatever it is they are studying, and if they don’t go to school, I care about why they don’t.

I care about why they dream of making millions. I care about why they want to travel the world. I don’t care about what they do, I care about why they do it.

I don’t care about who they are, I care about why they are who they are, and I care about whether or not they’re happy with it.

I don’t care where they’re from, where they’ve been or what they’ve done. I don’t care about what makes them, I care about what they make out of it.

How different would the world be if we offered opportunities based on integrity and passion? What if we walked into interviews with a story instead of a resume, a story that tells not only who we are at our core, but why?

What if we recognized the fact that everything in this world only has significance if we choose to give it significance? What if we appreciated who people are, not because it aligns with what we believe to be true or right, but because there is a story, a reason, behind it all?

What if when we met a person our first instinct wasn’t to form an opinion, but instead to listen? What if we got to know people from the inside out instead of the outside in? TC mark

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