There are people who bottle their sadness in scientific test tubes the way doctor’s bottle disease. They sit and wait until the doors are latched and the home is quiet. When they shoot up their demons, it’s not so much of a hit as it is a spiraling slide down to the pit of their belly to feast on the inner stomach lining. They become so lost in the haze of sadness that they are kept estranged from a rotating lighthouse trying to bring them home. Soon they’ve become too busy wrapping lifelines around the base of their throat to even hope that they might have it in them to save themselves.
This is what happens when sadness tells you that it is worthy, but your happiness is not. This is what happens when you believe it.
Do not give up on the idea of a life without heavy anchors tempting you to sink. Embrace your demons. Not because they deserve your kindness, but because it is the only way to kill them. Strip yourself bare of any armor you might have used to block the outside world and step naked into the spotlight.
Let it go. Whatever it is, let it be. Let go of your embarrassment, shame, or regret. These are emotions of the past; they have no place in your future. Look for the little things to bring spots of sunshine into your day.
Start small. You poured just the perfect amount of milk into your cereal. Your hair is just right. It’s your favorite type of weather outside. Don’t pay attention the tidbits of negativity trying to draw you back to your sadness. They’re tempting, but toxic. And you, who have fought so long and hard, are stronger than they are.
The more you look for, the more you will begin to see. The more you give thanks, the more you will receive. Until soon, sadness is not an abusive partner ready to strike you down at the first sign of change. Rather, it has become a friend you let go from a life you can’t really remember, a long time ago.
Sadness will try to bring its ugly head around once in a while, when it thinks you have reverted to a state of weakness and despair. But you’ve fought hard. You’ve fought strong. Instead of giving your love to sadness, you gave it to yourself. And when you kick sadness out with an iron fist and a voice like thunder, it will feel more powerful than anything you have done before.
This is what happens when you remember you are worthy of your happiness. This is what happens when you let go of your sadness.