How Do I Hate You? Let Me Count The Ways

I hate you.

I hate you because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and what I believe I need. Whenever I stare into your eyes, I see clarity. I see what’s good for me and what my heart yearns for.

I hate you because I can’t stay away from you, no matter how many times you push me away. You could shove me off and take me for granted, and I’d still stay because it will always be your safe embrace I’d want to return to at the end of the day.

I hate you because only you have the capacity to make me feel the way you do—as if all the butterflies entered my stomach and found a permanent home there. The words to express how happy you make me have not been created. You are my favorite notification among the many that incessantly buzz my phone, and nothing else matters as soon as your name pops up.

I hate you because I’m willing to fight for you, even though I’m already losing the battle. They could tell me countless times how I deserve better, but I don’t want better because I want you.

I hate you because you could break my heart a thousand times, and I’d willingly go through a thousand more if it meant I had a shot of becoming yours.

I hate you because I’ll never get tired of choosing you. Even if you won’t choose me.

I hate you (but I hate myself more for it).