To All Of The Friends Who Have Helped Me Along The Way

Three friends lean against each other at Running Springs. One smiles, holding up a peace sign.
Omar Lopez / Unsplash

Thank you for helping me dissect texts from the boy who ultimately didn’t matter.

Thank you for listening to me talk about my most recent first date—and for letting me get excited over someone who seems promising.

Thank you for being the voice of reason that reminds me that I am not the sum of relationships that didn’t work out.

For letting me see that love shouldn’t be forced; it should feel natural; and most of all, it should be reciprocated.

You understand how much I love to be in control and how it hurts when things don’t work out the way I planned.

You’re always there to respond to my frustrated texts after being left on read. You also sympathize with my bewilderment about why men turn on their read receipts…

I may doubt myself sometimes; I may doubt if a guy likes me, and I may doubt that I understand what he’s thinking.

But I will never doubt that I can text you with my truest and most unfiltered thoughts and that you’ll send me the perfect GIF that encapsulates my thoughts.

You understand that I don’t give my time to just anyone – and when I get excited about someone – I have a tendency to get carried away.

You remind me of all of the other things I have going on in my life – grad school, my writing, and my friends.

You provide the clarity that I sometimes lack when I’m incapable of being objective.

Thank you for never making me feel like I’m “crazy” – a word that too many men use to describe women who just simply cared about them.

Thank you for the countless cocktails as we disseminate “what went wrong,” “why it didn’t work out,” or “when will one of these men actually mean something?”

Thank you for reminding me that I am always authentic – which can be intimidating for some men – but that I am unapologetically myself.

That there is someone out there who is looking for someone just like me – full of quirks – flaws – personality – life.

You understand that my anxiety makes it even more challenging to date – but that I have come so far by not presenting an edited version of myself.

While I am excited to meet this elusive man who embraces me for my flaws, I’m just as excited to have you be a part of our lives.

He’ll roll his eyes about our drunken chatter, the new handbag that we need to have, and our penchant for reality TV – but our viewings of The Bachelor, wine on Sunday, and our weekly phone calls – will always come first.

Because as my best friends – you were there for me when he wasn’t; because before we found each other – I already had the true loves of my life. TC mark

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