This Year, I’m Choosing Myself

girl laughing next to greenery
Eduardo Dutra

This year, I take priority.

I’m not going to stay up late, waiting for you to respond to my text because let’s be real, you’re sitting right by your phone.

Instead, my cell is going on silent and I’m going to get the 8 hours of sleep a night I said I would.

I won’t swipe on dating apps with the mindset of finding a date for Valentine’s Day or a wedding.

I’ll be open minded about meeting new people but I won’t treat dating like it’s a task to cross of a to-do list.

I’m not going to be a broken record this year – giving advice to friends who complain about their relationships for weeks on end.

Instead, I’ll remind my friends of their worth and realize that they need to come to their own conclusions about these toxic relationships.

I won’t assume that people who are married with kids in their 20’s are ahead of me in life.

I’m not living my life according to your timetable; I’m focused on creating my own unique experiences.

I won’t entertain lukewarm conversation with a guy from Hinge for weeks just to have someone to text at night.

I know my worth.

And it’s much more than half of your attention on any given night.

I’m not going to contour, powder, and highlight to impress a guy on a first date.

If I feel like wearing makeup, I want to look like myself when meeting someone for the first time.

I’m not going to obsess about why someone stopped texting me. My last text wasn’t too short, too long, too apathetic, or too eager. We just simply weren’t compatible enough and that is nobody’s fault.

I won’t let myself engage in negative self-talk and will remind my friends to be kinder to themselves as well.

I won’t fixate about what my family will say about me during the holidays and let it affect my mood.

Sure, I may have gained a few pounds but I am cultivating a healthier relationship with food and I know that’s something to be proud of.

I may be single, but I wholeheartedly refuse to settle for an almost relationship with someone who isn’t right for me.

I won’t be concerned with being too much for some people.

As long as I’m happy with myself, the choices I am making, and my impact on the world, that is all that matters in the New Year.

I’ll stop dreading my birthday – which in the past has served as a reminder that another year has passed – while some circumstances in my life remain the same.

Instead, I’ll celebrate all that I’ve accomplished in the past year: getting into graduate school, being brave enough to make a career change, and unapologetically being myself.

I’m not going to whisper the world single like it has any bearing about who I am as a person.

This year, I’m going to continue to evolve, travel the world, and most of all, instead of chasing you, I’m going to focus on me. TC mark

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