woman wearing brown coat holding red rose near wall during daytime

If Youโ€™re Having Trouble Finding Your Soulmate, Read This

โ€œWhy is it so hard to find our soulmate?โ€ is a question we might have asked ourselves at one point in our life. But what defines a soulmate?

Growing up in today’s society, we might have learned that a soulmate is our other half. Someone who can complete us. Someone who can make us happy. Someone who can give us that feeling of butterflies in the pit of our stomach. Someone who can tick all the boxes on our curated checklist. Someone who is our perfect fit.

Hollywood movies portray that all we need is to find a Ryan Gosling or a Rachel McAdams to sweep us off our feet. But what if we rebel against the notion that a soulmate is another person that is responsible for making us feel complete?

Instead, what if we work on becoming complete on our own? What if we make ourselves the one responsible for making us feel happy? What if we start believing that we don’t need external validation to make us feel beautiful and loved? Because if you think about it, how are we even going to be able to find the right soulmate if we havenโ€™t truly discovered our true self?

โ€œOne day you might meet the right person, the one whoโ€™s everything that you had ever imagined and more. But until then, you need to be the right person for yourself.โ€ – Ruby Dhal

It might take some time to let go and unlearn everything we know about love and ourselves. But in return, we might discover a new and better version of us. We might discover that we can be perfectly happy on our own, that everything that we are looking for in another person has always been inside of us. That we can feel complete and whole on our own.

Hopefully one day you will find the right person meant for you. The kind of person you can have conversations with until 5 a.m. about nothing and everything. The person you can share your life with. The person you can celebrate with when good things happen, but also the person who will sit with you through darkness. Someone who will hug you and cocoon you with love until the hard moment passes.

However, until then, we should learn how to fall in love with our life. We should find what makes us feel utter joy. Let’s learn how to be comfortable being alone. Let’s do more of what ignites fire in our soul. Look for things that inspire you. Put a fancy dress on and take yourself out for a date. Let’s work on being courageous but also be tender at the same time.

And let’s give ourselves the love we easily give to others, so when the right person comes along, their love will just be the cherry on top.

About the author
A curious mind that wonders about life Follow Irah on Instagram or read more articles from Irah on Thought Catalog.

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