1. You can never tell if you’ll see him again tomorrow.
2. You lie to yourself about his flaws, make excuses for this emotional drama king, and commit yourself to not showing him your true emotions out of fear he’ll ghost you.
3. You miss him a lot. You miss him all the time. You ache for his touch and his presence, but when you finally meet you’re so stressed and hyper aware and overly excited and terrified he might not like you tonight that you come off as people pleasing, tense or creepily silent. Sounds about right?
4. Your time together is always limited. You never know if he’ll stay for an hour, two or 48. Nor if you’ll see him again tomorrow, in a week or in 5 months.
5. You always feel you have to be sexy around him. You never let him see you in your messy sweaters or pijamas, you’re always fresh faced and dressed fittingly.
6. You play dum. If he says he has no time to see you the next week, you don’t inquire why. You just let him feel ‘in power’ and hide your sadness under perfect make-up and an unnatural smile.
7. You wax more often. You never know when he’ll call.
8. You miss out on life. You’re so obsessed with your almost relationship you forget real relationships might wait for you out there.
9. You complain a lot while putting him on a pedestal. Strange are the ways of lust!
10. You’re growing angry at him over time. You feel entitled to the love he won’t give you.
11. You think you should change yourself or your style so that he’ll like you more.
12. You listen to all his shit but he’s mostly never available for your needs.
13. The sex is sometimes bad and still you convinced it’s the best you’ve ever had. You’re always horny in his absence.
14. You convince yourself that you love him and it’s not just hormones!
15. So that precisely one year later, when he approaches you after you haven’t spoken in months, with a predator look and an enthusiast erection, to tell him you’re not interested any more.