Turning 21 next year, I’ve always dreamt of how my life would turn out if I chose a different path. Would my life change drastically if I chose to audition for an acting role when I was a child? Would things turn out differently if I stayed singing in my school choir ever since I was 9? Nevertheless, knowing the girl that I am now, these are the things I would tell my younger self.
I would tell her to go for her dreams. If she wanted to tell people how she felt, she should tell it, without remorse. Without regret. Without feeling like she was burdening anyone with her thoughts. The people who matter wouldn’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.
Also, just because she liked so many things, it doesn’t mean she’s indecisive or scatterbrained. She just has her heart for the world, and could appreciate the immense breakthroughs in science, and feel the emotions portrayed in the arts. Just because others couldn’t identify with her passion in these things, doesn’t mean she couldn’t.
People will leave even with no absolute justification, and that sometimes even she has to leave, to save herself. However, that doesn’t mean she should close her heart off to others. Being vulnerable is a vital aspect of being able to love others. Sometimes before she is able to mend her own heart, she has to break her own countless times.
She needs to realize that the happiness she’s looking for is in herself. People didn’t have to understand her in order to love her. Her quirkiness, her persistence in wanting to present everything in a mystical way was not because she wanted to please others, but because she really saw things differently from them, and wanted to tell them how she felt.
Even if she continuously met people who enjoyed breaking her heart, she would also meet people who would remind her how it felt to breathe, how it felt to smile, and how it felt to have a good time. She’s capable of loving others even with nothing in return, and she shouldn’t let the spark within her be drowned out by her inner demons.