Here Are The Things I Wish You Knew

Part 1

I wish you knew what it was like to have a humming heart when you saw a girl.

I wish you knew what it was like to walk in a room and catch that very girl fucking a boy she just met.

I wish you knew what it was like to be hollowed out by love: to feel empty, to feel incomplete, to feel like nothing.

I wish you knew what it was felt like to not just screw around, but to love. To be consumed by a wildfire and to be addicted to the heat and to be in love with that terrifying yet exhilarating feeling.

I wish you knew that I would have done anything for you.

I wish you knew that I loved you.

I wish you knew that I wish I had never met you.

Part 2

I wish you knew what it was like to love so much that you turned into an ugly person when love didn’t go your way.

I wish you knew what it was like to love so deeply that the person you love most in the world could turn into the person you hate most in the world.

I wish you knew what it was like to hate how you hate that person, but not be able to help yourself because it’s the only defense mechanism keeping your fucking organs from falling on the floor.

I wish you knew what it was like to have the most innocent feeling of interest turn into an unasked for, all consuming film of dreams and desires and hopes and futures, only to morph into a stark reality you didn’t ask to be a part of.