Being lonely sucks. We’ve all been there at one time or another. However, for some reason, knowing that everyone goes through it doesn’t bring much comfort. It’s hard to see happy couples running rampant when all you want is for someone to love you like that. Or to see happy families with both parents when you can’t remember the last time yours were in a room together without fighting.
I’ll say it again-loneliness sucks. But there are ways to cope with it and get through it. And I don’t mean simply surviving until you finally meet that special someone or find the perfect group of friends. I mean thriving and enjoying life regardless of what others do or don’t do. You can live a full life while you’re alone.Yes, I said it. I know it’s hard to believe right now but hopefully these tips will help.
1. Enjoy Your Own Company
Loneliness is a great opportunity to explore yourself more. You’re not tied down by having to constantly adjust and compromise with someone else’s beliefs and hobbies…yet. So, take this time to figure out what it is you like to do. And if you already know what that is, do more of it. Whether that’s reading, writing, sewing, skating, gaming-the list is endless. Have some fun!
DO NOT allow your life to be put on hold simply because you’re not surrounded by who you think should be there. Live now! In this moment. And focus on your worldview and values as well. It’s going to be important that these are grounded before you attempt merging them with anyone else’s. So what makes you tick? What makes you laugh? Write down a few of your favorite things. Get to know you-the wonderful, amazing, unforgettable YOU!
2. Find Something Bigger Than Yourself
It’s easy to become kind of self-centered and wrapped up in your own thoughts, sometimes, when you’re by yourself. In order to combat this, get out and do something important! Lose yourself in a project or dream that will benefit the world in some way. Volunteer, pray, donate! Whatever it is that makes you realize you have purpose and value that does not come from any fellow human being. You are a contributor to the good things in this world and that is absolutely amazing! Some (like me) find it in having a spiritual life. Some find it through advocating for those who can’t always advocate for themselves. Whatever it is-find it, and then never let it go!
3. Get Out There
Ultimately, we are inherently social creatures. That’s why loneliness bothers us in the first place. So, eventually, the goal will be to find a strong support system that can help you through the times when you are feeling alone. However, if this was so easy, you wouldn’t be reading this right now so I’m going to provide some advice.
Use the skills you’ve learned in Rules 1 and 2. Show people what excites you and makes you happy. Explain to them what you’re passionate about. Be your true, authentic self. One thing that most people don’t realize is that most people really just want to be around others they can trust and being 100% who-you-are is a great way of helping them see that in you. Always be kind, remember you don’t have to be perfect, and don’t forget to smile! You’ll be making some pretty awesome friends in no time!
4. Never Change
This rule is weird because it’s describing something not to do but it’s still very important. Sometimes, loneliness can hurt so much that we’re willing to do almost anything to keep the pain away. Even if that means lowering our standards or shirking our values to be accepted by someone or join a group. This is never okay.
If you ever have to do anything that makes you validly uncomfortable in order to fit in with someone, that’s someone you don’t need in your life. Never lose yourself trying to find someone. Loneliness sucks but all the work it takes to build yourself back up after fading away is much,much worse-take it from me. So, take your time. People will come. In the meantime, enjoy being by yourself and, for God’s sake, live your incredible and beautiful life!