My philosophy on love, since I’ve been a little girl has been “take me by the hand and show me the world.” I have a high tolerance, actually… kinda love, stereotypical male behaviour. This could be from growing up with barbies and Disneyfantasizing about the knight in shining armour to come and rescue you. I’ve identified with Cinderella (for other particular reasons I won’t get into detail about) generally for the whole handsome, charming man saving you the poor victim of circumstance from the shitty environment that you got dealt with.
I really do love and fantasize about this stereotypical male figurea man that has courage and takes charge, a man that is strong that takes you by the hand and shows you the world. Whilst patiently, impatiently, waiting for this fantasy to realize, I’ve decided to fill that role for myself. Taking charge of my own life, being strong enough to stand on my own and taking my own damn self around the world. To me, this is truly special and is actually the place from where healthy relationships stem from.
I adore love – loving someone is one of my favourite feelings. I love making someone feel special because they are to me. I love the presence love requiresbeing present in someone’s life. Sharing in their wins and excitements. Recognizing the special moments and celebrating them – especially the small ones. To have this feeling boomeranged back at you, is like winning the lottery. It might sound kinda naive to some of you reading this, but to be honest I don’t really give a shit.
I whole-friggin-heartedly believe in a fairy tale love. But there is maybe a few things I’d do differently than Cinderella. For one, I would move the f out – do whatever I could to get myself away from a situation that was hurtful and harmful. Taking charge of your circumstances is the single best lesson I ever learned. Being a victim stops being cute pretty quick. Being strong and in charge of your life – that is sexy. A romantic partner and love from someone else isn’t going to fix all your problems. Giving a shit about yourself and your well being and making change in your life will.
When a relationship stems from a place of compatibility, chemistry and genuine interest in one another, it’s pretty cool. But when we find ourselves in relationships that come from a need to be with someone, you got trouble. The need to be rescued, need for companionship, need for validation, need to procreate and create a family. These needs create conditional love agreements that don’t often stand the test of time.
Naive and innocent, sure. But I prefer pure and true.
The whole point, I think (wtf was my point anyway?), is that I feel that true delicious love comes when you’ve reached a place of love for yourself. When you’re cool with you and totally dig yourself and have super fun chills with yourself, you wouldn’t settle for anything less.
I find that we tend to compromise too much of ourselves and settle for something lesser because, well, the only reason I can think of is because we don’t think we’re good enough.
We settle from lack of self love.
We stop trying and stop caring from lack of self love.
We compromise chunks of our happiness from lack of self love.
Honestly, fuck being in a relationship that’s anything less than EXTRAordinary. You’ve already got a perfectly incredible relationship right there. The one with you. Build and nourish that and see how quickly you won’t allow yourself to settle. Beautiful things come from a place of getting down with yourself.
Instead of investing in a less than great relationship, invest in yourself. Take yourself out and get comfortable with being by yourself. Know your worth and know your value so that you can stand strong on your own two feet. The love that follows will be one that has no choice but to be at par or even better cause you won’t settle for less than what you can give yourself.
But hey, what the fuck do I know.
Don’t take advice from a single girl.