It’s been months, maybe even years, and every morning you wake up and still hope he has messaged you. You hope he passes your favorite restaurant and you pop into his head.
You hope that one day, like in a movie, he’ll be there in front of you telling you that you were the one all along and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You wonder what it would be like to start all over.
Maybe he was your first love, maybe he was your 3rd or 4th love, maybe he was your only love. Your friends may think you’re pathetic and tell you to just move on, but it’s not always that easy.
I know you’ve lost friends over this toxic relationship that floods your mind daily. I know you check his social media just hoping for a glimpse into his life. And I know that any attention he gives you gives you the wrong idea, and just leads to hurt all over again. I know. I’ve been there.
Trust me. You aren’t alone.
I’m here to tell you that you can get through it. I’m here to tell you that you can live your life without him, and guess what? It won’t be the end of the world when you make it through a day without thinking of him — actually it will be the start to a whole new world!
Focus on you, focus on other relationships and focus on God. (Oh no! I know this article just got kinda spiritual on you, but bear with me.)
You’ve been so focused on him and what you can do to better yourself for him. Change that mindset, girlfriend! You are amazing and beautiful all on your own! So instead of bettering yourself for a boy, better yourself for you!
Go join that yoga class you’ve been wanting to try. Change your hair up — you’ve been putting it off because you knew it wouldn’t be his favorite. Pamper yourself with some shopping. Take those night classes to further your education and learn more.
Be happy with yourself! You won’t ever be happy with anyone again if you aren’t happy with yourself, again, first.
No, I didn’t mean focus on other romantic relationships. Focus on friendships. When you become all about one person, other friendships can fade away. If you’re lucky, maybe you still have some great friendships. If not, put yourself out there.
Find friends who have the same interests as you and do those things together. Who knows, you might find your best friend by joining a group or club that you never would have thought about joining before. Or maybe you saw a girl that you recognize, but never really hung out with. Go up to her and make a new friend.
Every girl needs good friendships. Good friends will support you, tell you like it is (even when you don’t want to hear it), and be there to catch you when you fall after you didn’t listen to their advice. So find those friends and nurture those friendships. Trust me, it will be the best thing you can ever do for yourself, and in turn, for those women. Us girls gotta stick together!
But if you fail yourself and if your friend fails you, there is one thing that always remains the same and will never fail you. You guessed it… Jesus.
You don’t need a boy, but Jesus? He makes all the difference.
Jesus won’t up and leave you out of the blue like that boy did. (Hebrews 13:5b) Jesus will always love you, even if you mess up. (Romans 5:8) And because of that love, He’s going to extend His amazing grace to you. That grace that gives us never-ending second chances. (Hebrews 4:16; Romans 5:12).
You can live your life without that boy. You can be happy and Jesus can be the one to restore that happiness to you. Those friendships we talked about? He’ll direct your path and lead you to the right people at the right time.
I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I just needed to say it. I would have wanted to hear it, but no one took the time to understand where I was and truly help me.
So I’m here to tell you, all that faith and hope you’ve been putting into that boy? You can put that same hope and faith into God. The God that never fails and you can survive. You will survive.
It’s time to put you and your other important relationships first, girl. I’m in your corner.
You got this!