I’m in the kitchen reading instructions on how to make a dinner with 7 ingredients and about 10 steps. I calmly concentrate on my task at hand, but I’m just not completely understanding what to do. I begin to get frustrated because I just cannot comprehend.
This is a regular occurrence since I have a learning disability called Recall Memory. In order for me to get it, I have to read or do something at least 3-4 times. My boyfriend must explain something to me a few times before it clicks. It can be quite annoying when learning something new.
Let me give you an example.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I took a boxing class. He understood what to do faster than I did. I always zero in on the instructor so I don’t look like an idiot doing it wrong. But, that never really works because they always end up coming over to me to show me a 4th time. It’s so annoying not to just get it. I wish I was normal and my mind caught up with the task at hand.
In middle school, I wasn’t able to take any language classes. Instead, that time was replaced with a skills class. It taught you how to stay organized and what homework was assigned in other classes. But, I wanted to be like everyone else and learn a language though!
My struggle continued onto college when I began to need extra time for pop quizzes and exams. Everyone would hurriedly turn in their test while I sat there with a blank look on my face. With the noise and commotion going on around me, I always felt like I had to finish ASAP. Even if I didn’t completely understand each question, I knew I couldn’t look like a dummy and finish last. But, when I saw bad grade after bad grade, I knew something had to be done.
I saw a psychologist and she evaluated me to see if I did in fact possess a learning disability. And, after it was proven, I had documentation that allowed me more time. So, on the first day of class every year, I had to embarrassingly tell my teacher while everyone stared wondering what the paperwork I was handing off. I hated explaining my learning disability because I was embarrassed.
It’s never the first thing I tell other people either. Who wants to be known as the girl with a learning disability? When looking at me, you’d never know because I’m an average girl. However, if you took a class with me or spent time with me, you might find out.
But, here’s the thing: there are people who have to deal with so much more in their lives. So, instead of complaining, I find ways to cope with it. So, accept me for who I am!