How To Date Someone With OCD And Not Drive Yourself Absolutely Crazy
By Hope Kumor
I love him, but my boyfriend is driving me absolutely nuts! We just recently moved into an apartment together and he constantly needs to plan what our next move will be. Like, for once, I’d like to just go with the flow and not have concrete plans. But, if he doesn’t plan something, he seems to go stir-crazy.
We’ve been dating for 16 months and I’m very happy with him. Well, I’m not thrilled about the OCD side of him, but guess what, I must deal and cope with him just as he has. Rather, I must think of ways to understand and not constantly ask him why we must do this and that.
I’ve learned that there are various types of OCD. Some people have rituals and routines they must follow in order to get through the day. While others make lists and stick to certain patterns when decorating.
My boyfriend has the OCD that involves list-making and event planning. Ever since we moved, he’s constantly telling me all the errands we must run and it’s driving me bonkers. For one night, I’d like to relax and not have a set plan.
Take a breather.
The other night, he told me to do some research on OCD to see what it entails because I suppose I wasn’t be supportive or understanding in his time of needs.
According to Mayo Clinic, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). It’s also possible to have only obsessions or only compulsions and still have OCD.
He said to me, “If I could turn this off, don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t.” I thought maybe he would somehow get over it or it would go away, but it’s not that simple. If I want to be with him, I must love every part of him. There will be good times as well as bad times. I know if the roles were reversed, he would alter himself a bit to accommodate me.
Relationships are about sacrifice and give and take. I know that he must complete a project once he starts it, but I’m not sure if I’ll understand why. If it was me, I would return to it the next day. But, I don’t have OCD, so I can do that. As for him, his brain tells him he has to finish it or else he’ll go crazy.
From now on, I’ll be a more supportive girlfriend and keep doing my research on this disorder.