You can’t stop yourself from thinking about him — but you can stop yourself from texting him.
You shouldn’t have been an asshole to someone you expected to stay.
Make her coffee to drink as soon as she wakes up.
Play the big spoon some nights — and the little spoon other nights.
Answer her texts in detail (instead of giving her one or two word replies).
You cannot start arguments about how they clearly don’t give a shit about you, simply because they aren’t showing you affection in the specific way you prefer affection.
You aren’t sure whether you’re completely wasting your time on this person or whether they simply need a little nudge. You aren’t sure whether you’re fighting for something worthwhile or something wasteful. You aren’t sure whether your heart has the right idea or whether you should start the healing process.
The thing about toxic relationships is that you’re not going to leave them the same way you entered them. You’re not going to be the same carefree, fun-loving person. You’re going to be less trusting, less adventurous, less open.
Reminding yourself why you left when you’re feeling lonely is the hard part. Convincing yourself you did the right thing, even though you feel like you’re falling apart inside, is the hard part.
It’s so much easier to let yourself fall apart than it is to piece yourself back together again, to pull yourself off the ground, to feel whole. Complete. At peace.