Max: Never actually uses his dog bed. He prefers the couch.
Don’t talk about how cute he looked in his sweatshirt or that sweet text he sent you. Don’t talk about the weird status he posted or the way that he’s been ignoring you. Don’t even talk about how you’re so done with boys and never want to date again.
Ease into exhibitionism by having sex in front of a mirror. You could place it above your bed, so you can see your partner’s backside while he’s thrusting during missionary, or you could hang it on the wall by your bed to watch yourself bounce.
I didn’t want unlimited opportunities to message you. I didn’t want to be tempted to say hello when I noticed that you were online at the same time as me or comment on your page when you posted a ridiculously attractive photo.
When you go out with your friends, you talk about how hot the waiter is and how you wish you were single so you could hook up with him.
“It’s my favorite type of foreplay. I eat her out, make her cum, and then fuck her. That way, she gets her orgasm and I get mine.”
The night of the funeral, after dragging some cousins to a bar to have fifteen shots to celebrate the fifteen years of Ryan’s life, a mottled brown owl landed on the tree branch outside of my bedroom window.
Driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on our thigh.
Do you like the taste of blood?
Have sex while leaning your upper half against the bed (or the kitchen counters). That way, he’ll be able to stop and stare at your lower half.