Stop spending time with people who disrespect you, who cross lines they know will bother you, who accuse you of being overly sensitive when they say something that hurts your feelings. Acting like you are the problem in every situation is a way for them to pretend they are innocent. It’s an excuse for them to avoid changing for the better. Even though it hurts to hear the cruel things they have to say about you, this says more about them than it does about you.
Your loved ones don’t have to understand your boundaries, they don’t have to agree with your boundaries, but they have to respect your boundaries. If they make fun of you, if they pressure you to change your mind, then they don’t deserve a place in your life. Remember, you don’t owe everyone your time and attention. You can be stingy when it comes to who gets the key to your heart.
After all, if someone is unable to do the bare minimum for you, then why should you go above and beyond for them? Why do their feelings matter more than yours? Why do they get to set boundaries that break yours? In real friendships and relationships, you hear each other. You respect each other. You meet each other halfway.
If someone refuses to treat you with common decency, then there’s no reason to beg them to change. It’s not your responsibility to teach them manners. It’s not up to you to make them see the error of their ways. There are people out there who you won’t need to ask for kindness. There are people out there who will treat you right without you needing to show them what that means exactly.
Don’t let anyone make you feel silly for setting boundaries, especially when your mental health is involved. You know what’s best for yourself. You know what you can handle. You know what you want and don’t want from another person.
If someone ignores your boundaries, they might not be the right person for you. If someone tries to bully you into changing, they definitely aren’t the right person for you. Don’t let anyone convince you to lower your standards and accept worse treatment from the rest of the world. You deserve to feel comfortable when you walk into a room. You shouldn’t have to worry about whether the people who supposedly care about you the most are going to offend you today, whether they’re going to cross a line, hurt your feelings, and give halfhearted apologies later.
Never apologize for setting strong boundaries. If someone accuses you of overreacting, if they can’t understand where you’re coming from even after you have a tough conversation, they aren’t the type of person you want in your world. You want to surround yourself with people who respect your decisions, who understand you at your core.
Stop spending time with people who ignore your boundaries. Stop spending time with people who don’t care about your feelings as long as they get what they want. Stop spending time with people who make you feel uncomfortable, unappreciated, and unseen, because they are so many people out there who will make you feel heard.