You're Not Broken, Simply Because You're Scared Of Commitment 

You’re Not Broken, Simply Because You’re Scared Of Commitment 

When you love someone, forever doesn’t sound as scary — but that doesn’t mean there’s zero hesitation, zero worries, zero doubts.

You shouldn’t assume you’re broken, simply because you’re having trouble adjusting to a stable, healthy relationship. It’s okay if your commitment issues are still lingering in the back of your mind. It’s okay if you’re having trouble balancing your skeptical side with your romantic side. It’s okay if part of you is certain you’re with the right person, a person who would never cause you pain — and another side of you is scared of what the future holds.

When you find your forever person, your commitment issues won’t magically go away. You’re still the same person. You’ll still have the same fears. They might be quieter. You might trust your person in a way you’ve never been able to trust others before. But it’s okay if there are still some lingering doubts. It’s okay if you’re still uneasy about the idea of handing over your entire heart to one person.

Committing to someone, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime keeping everyone at a distance, is a huge deal. Don’t assume you’re broken if you’re having trouble adjusting to a relationship after getting used to the single life. Don’t assume you’re never going to feel comfortable, because sometimes these things take time. Your heart is growing, learning, adjusting to this new experience.

It’s okay if you’re still afraid of commitment, even though you found the person you want to spend forever alongside. Realistically, your fears aren’t going to disappear overnight if you’ve always been a skeptic. You know relationships end. You know love doesn’t always last. You’ve had your heart broken before and never saw it coming, so there’s always a chance something similar will happen again. It might not be likely, but the possibility is what keeps you awake at night.

Of course, you don’t want your fears to get in the way of a good relationship. You don’t want to listen to the doubts in the back of your head and assume they mean you aren’t ready for this new love. Being hesitant about opening up your heart doesn’t mean you’re broken. It isn’t a sign you should run.

If this person respects and admires you, if they make you feel strong and unstoppable, if they’re everything you’ve wanted, then you should give them a chance. Remember, two things can be true at once. You could love and trust this person. And you could be terrified of committing to this person.

When you love someone, forever doesn’t sound as scary. You’ll be excited about what you’re going to accomplish in the future, about all of the plans you’re going to make as a team. But there might be some fear mixed in with that joy, and that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re excited and nervous at the same time. It’s okay if you aren’t used to trusting someone yet. It’s okay if your fear of commitment hasn’t completely gone away. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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